Part 1
Chapter 1
Harvey
“Isn’t this your stop?”
I jumped as the old lady sitting next to me gently touched my arm. “What? Oh, yeah, sorry.” I smiled and gripped my backpack tighter.
I’d been gazing around absentmindedly as the train rattled along the tracks, almost lulled to sleep by the gentle sway as it made its way down the line.
We rode the Tube three mornings a week. Me on my way to a job I detested, her to goodness knows where. It’d been this way for the past few weeks, and other than a brief hello, we’d spoken very little, but she always sat by me whenever she could.
The brakes squealed loudly as we pulled into the station before the train lurched to a stop. I heaved myself to my feet and braced myself for the rush to come.
“Thanks.” I smiled again. It didn’t hurt to be kind.
“You’re welcome, dearie. Wouldn’t want you to be late for work.”
I fought my way to the door and slipped through the gap as it opened, puffing out a breath as I stepped onto the platform, the stench of dampness unmistakable in the underground. I hated riding the metal tube, but I’d take it over an hour-long bus journey any day, and I didn’t have that kind of time to travel.
“Move out of the fucking way,” an angry voice said behind me. I felt a hard shove and almost dropped my backpack, but I should have known better than to stand still. Rush hour was a bitch, both above and below ground.
The doors hissed closed, the rails whining as the train disappeared into the dank, dark tunnel. That was my cue to climb the concrete stairs, out of the white-tiled tunnels, and up into the fresh air.
Tempted as I was to make a run for it and escape to places unknown, I turned towards the tall building where I worked. My stomach churned at the thought of another day spent talking to people I didn’t care about, listening to the problems of the customers, and doing my best to put them right.
Working in customer service was a drag, but I was ill-equipped to do anything else. I’d drifted from job to job since leaving school, and twelve years later, I was still looking for the right one. I had no aspirations to become a pilot, a doctor, a lawyer, or a dentist. I might have at some point, but all my drive and enthusiasm for life had disappeared, along with the few friends I had.
My life had been one disappointment after another. Could I call myself an orphan at twenty-eight? That’s what I was, my parents both having died; my dad from a heart attack eight years ago, and my mum of Covid. To top it all, I’d lost my grandma a mere six months after Mum had died, and I’d struggled since then.
I’d been on my own for four years, living in the house I’d grown up in, with constant reminders in every room of thehappiness we’d shared. I suppose I should have sold up, but the house was mine. The mortgage had been paid when Mum passed away, leaving me with nothing but a few household bills to pay each month.
Plus, it was my childhood home, and I cherished the memories we’d made there.
“Good morning,” Ed said as I stepped into the lift, another metal box taking me to the twentieth floor for the next eight hours.
“Is it?” I asked, thinking of the day ahead and what it might hold.
“Could be worse.” He nudged me, a wide smile on his face. Ed, my co-worker was an eternal optimist, whereas I wasn’t. I wasn’t a pessimist. I just experienced very little joy in my life.
“How, Ed? We have to spend eight hours sitting in a barren office listening to people complain.”
“Eh, you’ve got a point, but look on the bright side. It’s Gerald’s birthday. There’ll be cake, at least.”
“Let’s hope it’s not carrot like last time.”
“You find the worst in everything, Harvey. Lighten the fuck up. Come out for a drink later. Take the stick out of your arse and let your hair down. Who knows? You might enjoy yourself for a change.”
Was I really that miserable?
Yes. I was that miserable.
My therapist said I needed to do something outside of the house other than work, but by the time I got home, I had no inclination to do anything, especially now the nights were drawing in.
But she was right. I needed a hobby.
No, I needed a life.