"That's not fair —"
"It's the policy." Brian looks at me, and there's something in his eyes. Regret, frustration, the helplessness of a person who enforces rules they didn't write. "Devin, I'm sorry. You've got thirty minutes."
I nod.
I don't argue. I don't explain. I don't point out that the policy is designed to protect people like the girl at the window and that kicking me out for protecting her is exactly the kindof institutional logic that makes the system fail the people it's supposed to serve.
I've been in the system nearly my whole life. I know how this goes. You do the right thing and you get punished for it and you pack your bag and you leave.
Thirty minutes.
I go upstairs. Our room. Tyler's and mine. Tyler's not here. Tyler's at Melissa's, where he's been most nights for the past two weeks.
I text him:Getting kicked out of Haven House tonight. I'm fine. Don't freak out.
I pack while the dots bounce.
Packing takes four minutes. Three shirts, two pairs of jeans, underwear, socks, the hoodie that's getting threadbare. My books, four of them now, because Silas and Toby keep giving me new ones. Toothbrush. Phone charger. The notebook where I track my savings.
Everything I own fits in one backpack. Twenty-one years of life, and it fits in one backpack.
Tyler:WHAT??? WHAT HAPPENED??? Dev I'm coming back right now
Don't. I'm fine. Guy was harassing a girl, I stepped in, zero tolerance. Both of us out.
Tyler:THAT'S BULLSHIT. You were HELPING her
I know. Rules are rules.
Tyler:Come to Melissa's. We have room. You can sleep on the couch
Tyler, you're already sleeping in her queen-sized bed with her brother on the couch. There's no room.
Tyler:We'll MAKE room. Dev please
I have a plan. I'm fine.
Tyler:What plan???
I'll figure it out. Not long until the apartment. I just need to get through a couple weeks.
Tyler:Dev. Where are you going to SLEEP?
I stare at the phone. The cracked mirror above the sink reflects a person with a swelling cheekbone and blood on his shirt and a backpack that contains his entire life.
I'll figure it out.
Tyler:Devin I swear to god if you don't tell me where you're going
I'm going to be fine. Please don't tell Silas.
The dots bounce for a long time. Then:
Tyler:Why not??? He'd want to know. He has a ROOM, Dev.
Because if I tell Silas, he offers me the room. And if I take the room, I'm the homeless kid who got rescued by his boyfriend. And I can't be that. I need the apartment to be mine. I need to have done this myself.
Tyler:That is the dumbest, most stubborn, most Devin thing you've ever said and I am furious at you and also I understand completely.