Meg shakes her head. “If that makes you feel better then you keep thinking that, honey.”
“After everything I’ve been through, I don’t think any man will touch me again. I don’t know if I can let another man touch me.” I close my eyes. The thought of a man’s hands on me in that way sickens me.
“Hey,” Rosie says as she pulls me into a hug. “You don’t react when Braxton touches you. Do you?”
I think about earlier in the kitchen, but that was just because I was in a world of my own, but when we were together earlier, it didn’t bother me when he touched me. Or when he takes my hand in his. “No, I guess I don’t.”
“Look, I’ve been beaten to a pulp, but not raped so I can’t really comment on that, but I know that it didn’t stop me from letting my men touch me. They wiped all the memories of that man’s touch on me. They replaced those memories with memories of them and it was the best thing for me. I’m not saying you need to go and jump Braxton the next time you see him, but he would be really good for you. He’s a loving guy, he’s loyal and he’s fucking good to look at.” Meg laughs.
“He is, isn’t he?” I smile and giggle like a little girl. Maybe I didn’t lose all of myself in the last six months, maybe there’s some of the old me left inside that I can bring out to the forefront and show Braxton that I’m stronger than he thinks I am, and I want his touch. I crave it.
“You’re really thinking about him right now, aren’t you?” Rosie says, “You’ve got that look on your face that we had with our men.”
I rest my head in my hands. “God, why did this happen to me?”
Meg reaches out. “I’m not going to say I don’t have bad days because I do, but those days my men treat me like a princess.”
“They do anyway,” Rosie laughs.
“Yes, they do, but on those days, everything is about me and not them. They look after me in ways that only they can. Let Braxton look after you in the only way that I’m sure he can.” She giggles. “He is one fine specimen for sure.”
We all laugh, and I feel like my life is going to be okay and that Mallory’s family is going to be my family. These people have opened their house and their hearts to me, and I appreciate that so much. I just need to make sure Mallory is good and then I’ll be able to rest.
We sit outside and talk for another hour when Braxton walks out, and the girls stop talking. He sits next to me. “How you doing, sweetheart?”
“I’m doing good. I love the fresh air. I needed it.”
“Do you feel up to going for a ride on my bike?”
The two girls gasp, and I look at them shrugging. They both start nodding.
“Is it safe? What if they’re out there and they’re waiting for me to move out of the clubhouse?” Panic sets in and it calms as soon as Braxton pulls me to his chest and lifts me onto his lap.
“Sweetheart, you’re always going to be safe with me. With your hair tied up and a helmet on they won’t recognize you, but there’s no one out there waiting for you. We’ve got surveillance everywhere, no one is here for you. And they will have to get through me to get to you and no one is going to be able to do that. I will protect you with my life.”
I trust him and I don’t know why. I trust this man with my life. I climb on the back of his bike and when he sits in front of me, I hold on tight. I lean my cheek against his back and smell the leather of his cut.
“Hold tight, sweetheart I don’t want anything happening to you.” He takes my hands and wraps them tighter around his waist. “That’s it, sweetheart I have you.” He pats my hands and then puts his on the handlebars.
When the bike roars to life under me, it startles me, but then I get used to the rumble and the vibrations settle me.
We ride out of town and into the countryside, I recognize some of the area as where I settled in for the night when I made the long walk here to the clubhouse. It brings back those memories when I didn’t know if I was going to make it or not. I instinctively squeeze him tighter.
He pulls over at a place with a picnic bench and we both get off the bike.
He helps me to get off and then takes my helmet off for me and places it on the seat. We walk over to the picnic table, and both sit down. “It’s beautiful here,” I say looking around at the trees.
“I love coming here when I need to think. It’s so peaceful and there’s nothing to invade your thoughts." I watch him as he speaks and see how peaceful he is. It’s totally different to the madness of the clubhouse.
“I get it. I can see why you like it here.”
We sit in peace for a few minutes. “Would you really give up your life to protect mine?”
Chapter Five
BRAXTON
I’m startled by her question. “Of course, I meant it. I don’t say anything I don’t mean, Piper. I’m a man of my word. Your safety is the most important thing to me.”