“Girl,you looked so good in that movie you did with. What’s his name?” Desirae asked.
I chuckled and took a sip of my wine before answering.
“Isaac Mathews.”
Desirae nodded and waved her hand as if it had just came to her. I took a bite of my waffle and waited for her to speak up.
“Yes, that’s him. That man knows he is so damn fine!” she exclaimed.
I shook my head, because this girl was so man hungry. She didn’t give a damn whether or not the man was taken.
“You do know that man is married, right?” I reminded her.
She kissed her teeth and took a long sip of her wine.
“Please, you know a ring never bothered me. Especially if it isn’t an issue for the man.”
I don’t know how I dealt with this girl sometimes. She was always there when I needed her, even if her morals were a littleshaky. Before I could respond, someone doused me in a bucket of cold water and then a rock connected with the side of my head. My hand instinctively shot up to grip the side of my head. An ache settled. I pulled my hand back, and blood covered the palm of my hand.
Desirae stood from the table and rushed to my side with a napkin to place against the side of my head. The bleeding wasn’t slowing down, so she tried to keep pressure on it. The rock was on the table with a note attached. Although I should’ve been more focused on the bleeding, something told me to read the note.
I untied it from the rock and scribbled in black marker was a threat addressed to me.
“Amore, my love. I hate to cause damage to your beautiful face. But you will learn. I will not tolerate you in the arms of no man but me. Next time! I will Kill you!”
I dropped the note and looked up at Desirae, who had been reading over my shoulder. Her eyes were wide?—
I shot up from my mattress, gripping my chest. Sweat covered my body from head to toe, causing my hair to stick to the side of my face. The sheets wrapped around my legs in what felt like an unloosening grip, causing my heart to beat uncontrollably. Even the slow breaths I took wouldn’t help me calm down.
It seemed as if I would never get a moment of peace even if I tried. It had been this way since the last death threat I’d gotten. Who knew the moment I accepted my first acting gig, this would be my life today. The thrill I once felt from having access to designer everything, attending any exclusive party I desired,and knowing the stars I once had posters of on my walls—it all meant nothing now. If I was truly honest with myself, it never really held any excitement. It had only been a placeholder for the family I always wished I’d had.
I reached over to my nightstand and turned on the lamp, then untangled myself from the sheets and pushed out of bed.
I needed a change. And I was starting to realize that if I stayed in this life, I’d never get one. It would always be the same cycle.
I’d just won a harassment case, but nothing felt different. If anything, it felt worse—like I’d only picked up another psycho… or maybe it was the same one who just wouldn’t let go.
It was hard not to blame myself. It seemed as if I was the only actress in history who had this many crazy ass men harassing and stalking her. I couldn’t figure out what I was doing differently than the next actress. We all shot love scenes and were romantic interests in most movies. What made me different?
I ran my hands through my long hair. Since I’d been an actress, it had grown down to the middle of my back. I guess when you have money and help, you can maintain healthy hair.
When I was struggling, I couldn’t maintain my hair to save my life. If I wasn’t worried about paying my bills, I was worried about what I was going to eat for the week. Self-care wasn’t at the top of my list of priorities back then.
Struggle brought me into this life. I figured I’d give it a shot when I realized there was room to make a few extra dollars if I landed a role as an extra.
This wasn’t supposed to be my life. It was truly a chance encounter. One of the actresses quit out of nowhere, and one of the scouts saw me. I guess they liked what they saw because they asked me to read for the part, since it was small.
When I got the part, it made the other actors and actresses look at me funny. At the time I didn’t understand why, but as long as I’ve been in the business now. I got it. Usually, when someone ended up with a job that came out of nowhere, they’d probably done extra-curricular activities to get it.
I grabbed the empty glass from my nightstand and made my way through my home. It was far from modest. I’d gone as glam as I could, choosing a place that fit the life I’d settled for.
I thought if I bought enough, if I filled the space just right, I’d finally feel like I belonged.
I didn’t.
Now, it all felt like a waste.
I flipped the switch to light up every room I walked through. My head stayed on a constant swivel, hoping no one had broken in. As I made my way down the steps, I leaned over to grab the bat leaning against the wall. Once I made it to the kitchen, I flipped the lights on and then began filling my glass with cold water.