“No, kolrav. That not how things work here. You are safe–”
“I know that,” he murmured, but when he pulled away, his face was twisted with an expression I couldn’t quite read. “I mean, I’ve seen the way the other couples love on each other without fear of being seen. I just… I guess I wasn’t fully awake and old habits die hard.”
That was an expression I didn’t recognize, and once he noticed my confusion, he had to explain it to me for me to better understand what he was feeling.
“It means… I haven’t yet lost the fear of being caught with a man. I wasn’t fully awake, and my old way of thinking came to the fore before I remembered that I was safe here. It… might take a while for me to change that mindset.”
Cupping his cheeks in both hands, I kissed his lips gently, resting my forehead against his. “You take all time you need. You are safe.”
His smile came back, though it was more tremulous than before. I set to reassuring him, peppering him with kisses until a true smile spread across his face and he straightened his arms to keep me away with a laugh. “No! No putting me back under your spell! They’re waiting for us!”
Letting out a heavy sigh, I nodded. “They are. If I delay, Idrull give me trench duty.” I shuddered at the thought. It was an effective punishment, and one I avoided at all costs.
Arlen paled, his expression horrified. “He won’t give us trench duty for being in here for days, will he?”
Shaking my head, I gave him a reassuring kiss on his forehead before finally sitting up. “Not you. Bondmates are safe. Me, though…” I wasn’t sure about that, and I was a little afraid to find out. The thought got me moving, and I jerked on trousers and boots, helping Arlen to dress quickly so we could join the clan leader and his bondmate for the morning meal. Perhaps I had been a little thoughtless when deciding to stay with Arlen and refusing to leave our tent.
Arlen clung to my arm as we walked into our makeshift village center. With clans so close together, one ran into the other in some areas, but the largest fires marked the village centers as best they could. I looked forward to splitting from the clans and being on our own again. While getting to know fellow clan brothers was interesting, it was easier to protect my clan members when there was space between us and other clans.
Idrull and Frida were seated on a few cushions, talking to–
“Shit.”
Arlen was unfamiliar with the curse and looked up at me in confusion, his brows drawn together tightly. “What does that word mean?”
“I, uh…” I wasn’t sure I wanted to explain that to him. And I really wasn’t sure about introducing him to my parents. He’d already had a fright that morning. This would be too much.
My father looked in my direction first, giving me that look that said I would not get out of the conversation waiting for me. I grimaced, my tone apologetic as I told Arlen, “The two sitting next to clan leader? They my parents. Here to meet you.”
Arlen tripped over his own feet, that terrified expression returning to his face that made me want to pull out my sword and cut down anything that made him feel that way. I held back the urge, knowing his fear was because of his old way of thinking, not because of anything that would happen here. We needed to speak with them so he no longer felt that old fear.
“Be at ease, velren. They good people. You are safe.”
I would keep repeating that until he believed me. He was safe here.
He nodded, but his body trembled as we approached the group, and his grip on my arm tightened so much that his knuckles turned white. To my surprise, my mother and Frida both stood, swarming Arlen and pulling him away from me, their tones both soothing and sweet.
“Oh, sweetheart, don’t be afraid,” my mother cooed. “You are safe here.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know Idrull visiting you this morning would frighten you so much,” Frida added. “I promise, you’ve done nothing wrong. Lyra is right, you’re safe. Oh, you poor thing. You’ve gone pale. Come sit. Drin will bring food in just a moment.”
They ushered him to the cushions, petting his hair and holding his hands, while I stood motionless, bewildered by what just happened. Did they really steal him from me?
My father snorted, tipping his head toward the cushion next to him that my mother just vacated. “Sit, son. Let them put your man at ease while you explain to me why you’ve been home for three days and have yet to visit us. Did you wish to break your mother’s heart?”
Arlen might be safe from their wrath, but apparently, I wasn’t. I grimaced, sitting where he indicated, and offered him a strained smile. “I have no excuse. I was selfish and wanted to be alone with Arlen. It is not an excuse to neglect my duties or my family. I apologize.”
Idrull huffed, shooting me a scowl. “You just lost me a bet, I hope you know. Frida said you’d take responsibility. I bet that you would make excuses.”
Frida leaned around Arlen, giving her bondmate a haughty look. “Maybe that’ll teach you to listen to me. I watched Tyos grow. A moment of indulgence doesn’t replace a lifetime of putting his clan first. He’s a good man.”
My father studied Idrull, a smile tugging at his lips. “What did you bet exactly?”
Idrull’s expression flattened. “She said if she was right, I wasn’t allowed to punish him for ignoring his duties.” He turned to me again. “You are indebted to my bondmate. I was going toput you on trench duty for ignoring the repeated reminders to leave your tent.”
Letting out an awkward laugh, I leaned forward to give Frida an appreciative smile. “Thank you, Frida. You are a goddess among men.”
She snorted, rolling her eyes, and gave her attention back to Arlen, who was watching the interaction while my mother leaned close to whisper in his ear, likely translating for him because I’d been so selfish that I kept him from his lessons. I’d need to make it up to him for that.