“Much earlier than usual,” Idrull complained. “It’s giving the younger clan members ideas.”
“I felt it was best,” I argued. “Things were changing, and we are too set in our ways. I wanted to give younger voices control of their future. I will soon be considered an elder. They have much more life to live than I do.”
The comment made Cedric frown, but it was the truth. Uttin was half my age. He had a lot more life to live, and could speak to the wants of his fellow brothers. With things changing so rapidly, I felt it was better to have him speak for the clan. It was because of him that I accepted Finn as the first male tribute. He was the one who suggested I call for Rath and introduce the two of them before making any decisions.
Queen Raiza shook her head, returning to the subject she considered most important. “Even so, you deserve a celebration. It doesn’t have to be as elaborate as Uttin and Zakai’s wedding. Something in the gardens, perhaps?”
Plans of bonding needed to wait. It took days for the plan on how to assist Uttin and his company to be set and put intomotion. While King Zohaib distracted King Gordon with gifts of alcohol and pretty words, Idrull’s warriors were sent into Eldara to retrieve the townspeople who had already escaped and bring them back while Uttin’s company finished their journey. Cedric and I returned to the clan during that time to ensure Idrull’s people were well protected while their warriors were gone, but Cedric stuck close to me unless he was in his language lessons. He could see how stressed I was and spent more than one night massaging my shoulders to ease some of the tension.
He also eased the tension in other ways but not in all the ways I knew he wished. I was aware he wanted me to take him fully, but not only was I distracted with the outcome of the mission, I also worried for Cedric. I had no experience with bedding males. Everything we’d done together thus far didn’t require penetration. I didn’t want to proceed without asking for advice. A task I wasn’t looking forward to, since only one of my clan could be considered an expert on a professional level, and he was not likely to go easy on me. For the time being, I distracted Cedric in other ways.
“Ah! Othorr! Yes!” Cedric cried, clinging to me as I ground against him, keeping him pinned beneath me and entirely at my mercy. He loved it, he told me as much, and I found I enjoyed it as well. Hearing such a beautiful man beg me for more made me feel feral in a way I’d never experienced before. My thrusts roughened, one hand slipping under his hips to lift them to get the angle I knew he loved.
“Ungh, Orthorr!”
His body tensed, and I watched as he came, his face a mask of pleasure and an emotion he hadn’t named out loud yet. I knew he felt it, but he was shy with his words, and I did not wish to rush him.
Like it always did, watching him fall apart had a devastating effect on me, and I let out a loud groan as I gave in to my body’sneeds, painting his skin with my release. He never let me roll off him to clean him up right away. He always pulled me against his chest, keeping us pressed together as we caught our breath. This was when I felt most connected to him, sliding my arms underneath him to hold him just that little bit closer.
“Mmm… I wish I could stay like this all night.”
“Why can’t you?” I asked, peppering kisses along his shoulder.
He laughed, arms tightening around me in an affectionate squeeze. “Because we almost got stuck together last time, and the previous time we slept without clothes on, someone barreled in the next morning and almost saw way too much.”
The reminder made me scowl. Tavik had gotten an earful about that. He’d only come in to let me know we got another message from Uttin’s company, since I hadn’t heard him call out to me, but I was still angry with him for the intrusion. He was lucky Uttin’s message was positive and put me in a better mood because I would have come up with a creative punishment for entering my tent without permission had it been anything else.
Like he could feel my expression against his skin, Cedric snickered, poking me in the side. “Roll over. I’ll clean us up this time.”
“No,” I argued, sitting up. “It’s my job to–”
He gave me a look that stayed my tongue, pointing a finger in my face. “We are equals, Orthorr. We take care of each other. And you had a long day dealing with clan matters. You can let me help for once.”
He looked disgruntled by my arguing, and I didn’t want to make him angry, so I acquiesced and rolled over, allowing him to crawl out of bed to get a cloth and some water from the bowl I kept to splash on my face in the mornings. He never stood, and I admired the view as he crawled around, that rounded ass onperfect display as he wrung the cloth out and turned around. He smirked, raising an eyebrow at me.
“Are you staring at my behind?”
“Yes. It is a gorgeous behind.”
His cheeks pinkened, even as he crawled back to me, a mock scowl on his face. “And yet, you never do anything to it. If I was a little less certain of your feelings, I would be concerned you aren’t interested in that part of me.”
His tone was teasing, but I could see the uncertainty he tried to hide. Catching his hand before he could pull away from me, I drew him closer, cupping his face in my hand. “It is not that I am not interested. I would love nothing more than to bury myself in you and give you all the pleasure you desire.”
“Orthorr!” His eyes widened at my seductive words, but I knew how much they affected him. He liked when I spoke to him in such a way.
“It is true, ravsol. It takes great restraint not to take you in such a way. But…”
“But?” he whispered back.
With a sigh, I sat up and drew him into my lap, holding him close. “You are not the only one inexperienced in these matters. I have only laid with females before now. I do not wish to hurt you.”
For some reason, my answer surprised him. “Truly? But you’ve seemed so confident before now. And you seem to know a lot more than I do.”
I nodded slowly in agreement. “Some things I’ve heard, clan brothers like to speak when alcohol loosens their lips, and others I experienced firsthand with my first bondmate. It might not have happened in reverse, but I knew what I liked and tried my best to do the same with you. But some things I have no experience with. And I’d like to speak with someone about it before taking the next step.” Pressing my forehead against his,I tried to show the sincerity in my words. “The last thing I ever want to do is hurt you, ravsol. You are precious to me.”
The smile that spread across his face was one of my favorites. Cedric had all kinds of smiles. Indulgent smiles when children climbed into my lap while we were sharing a meal together, sleepy smiles when he woke and remembered he is somewhere safe and free, wistful smiles when I told him about the plans for our new home. But the smile on his face when he looked at me now was one he only gave to me. He gave it when I said something that made him feel truly loved. I would do a great many things to earn those smiles.
“Alright, you big sweet barbarian. I’ll wait. I wouldn’t want to hurt you either.”