“I can’t wait.” I forced a laugh to cover the cracks in my voice. “Literally.”
“You okay?” Violet asked. The woman missed nothing. “I mean…okayis relative, given everything that’s happened, but you sound extra tired.”
“I’m okay. Hanging in there.”
“Shi, you don’t have to pretend with me. If you’re having a hard time, you can tell me.”
Tears stung the corners of my eyes. “It is hard, Vi,” I admitted. “All of it. And Bibi has been so great—as usual—but I don’t want to worry her. Or Mama.” I pulled myself together and huffed a breath. “I’m counting down the days till you come back so I can dump my problems in your lap instead. Or at least grab a coffee with someone my own age.”
Violet laughed. “I am ready to be dumped on. Wait…that came out weird.”
I smiled, and then a figure passed by the front of my shop. I could’ve sworn I’d seen the same gray coat, the same hunched shoulders earlier this morning.
“How is everyone?” Violet asked.
“Good. Except Bibi’s getting up there. Her blood pressure isn’t great, and her vision is all but gone. Being away from home to sit at a shop that’s empty half the day feels like I’m failing in all the ways.”
“You’re not failing. You’re taking care of everyone, and you’re doing it beautifully. But wait… Business is slow? I thought you said you had a great winter?”
“I did, but it ebbs and flows with the tourists. That’s just the business. I need to keep adjusting, calibrating, and working to keep up. But damn…”
“I know,” she said softly. “But the summers are usually busy, right?”
I smiled. “Thank you for reminding me of the good stuff. It’s easy to forget when I’m missing him so damn much.”
“Do you want to talk about him?”
“There’s nothing to say. He’s on year three of a ten-year sentence and still won’t let me see him.” I shrugged as if the heavy burden pressing down on my heart could be reduced to that casual gesture. “I miss him, Vi. That’s the bottom line. I miss him with every particle of my body. But I’m also soangryat him for shutting me out. In my worst moments, I’m tempted to do what he said—let him go and move on with my life.”
“But…”
“But that’s impossible. And I wish he knew that,” I said, tears pricking my eyes again. “More than anything, I wish he understood what he means to the people who love and need him.”
“I know,” Violet said. “Miller doesn’t talk about it much, but he’s hurting too. Both Ronan and Holden disappeared in their own way, cutting him off.”
“God, I haven’t even asked how Miller is doing,” I said, quickly wiping my eyes. “Better, I’ll bet, now that he has you with him.”
I heard Violet’s smile over her words, happiness infusing her voice. “He’s going to be okay. No more touring until he’s rested, and even then, no more arena shows.”
“Good. I—” I stopped as I caught sight of the same figure in gray skulking outside my window, only this time, I caught a glimpse of hair too. A furtive glance, then he was hurrying away. “Vi, I’m sorry. I have to call you back.”
The figure was halfway down the sidewalk when I tore out of the shop.
“Hey!” I called sharply. “Stop right there!”
The guy jerked to a stop and hunched deeper in his ratty coat. Then, slowly, he turned around, and I tensed all over, the air catching in my chest as if I’d been punched in the gut.
Frankie Dowd was almost unrecognizable. Pale, sickly, nearly emaciated, with one eyelid permanently drooping from the beating he took three years ago. He shuffled toward me, limping, as if he couldn’t control his left leg very well.
“Hey, Shiloh,” Frankie said, his hands jammed in the pockets of an old windbreaker that might’ve once been blue and was five sizes too big. His jeans were ripped, and his Converse were filthy, the laces held together with knots.
I glared at him, trying to ignore how my heart sort of ached to see him like this, so wretched and sad. I’d never seen a person completely without hope before, but Frankie was close.
Then I remembered how hopeless and undone I felt the night my shop was vandalized. HowRonanmust’ve felt when he had ten years taken from him for something he didn’t do. I hardened my voice.
“What do you want? Why have you been skulking around my store all morning? Casing the joint for your next attack?”
He winced, but truthfully, the guy looked like he couldn’t lift a crowbar now to save his life.