When pendulums stop swinging, they do not always land in the middle. Mine stayed firmly on resentment.
I finally saw my situation at Docendum Castle with clarity: I was a lowborn servant who had loved an apprentice with all myheart. He had only enjoyed my companionship as a distraction from studying with those he found intolerable. And when my friendship turned out to be a liability, he cast me off without any consideration for my feelings.
Wizards were power-hungry and selfish, corrupted. One way or another, they were all stained with ashes. If I were to give my life for the renegades’ cause, dying while disarming wizards wasn’t a bad way to do it.
So what was there to do but agree with Alaric and let Madame Sutton and Master Grey place me in their chess game to depose the king?
Chess doesn’t have pieces to represent wizards, but it really ought to.
CHAPTER 10
After that night with Madame Sutton and Master Grey, Alaric and I returned to Paxworth to ready ourselves for the mission. My life was invaded by a series of dressmakers and cobblers. I had to have new gowns and shoes, as the clothes I wore around Paxworth were barely nicer than the servants’.
I had no delusions I would be at court for the full two weeks of celebration. I would either achieve my goal, and the feasting would abruptly end, or I would be discovered and have no need of gowns. I was dressing for either my death or the king’s. But my trunks would be searched upon entrance to Valistowe, and the king’s men would expect my clothing to be like the other noblewomen’s.
Madame Sutton came to Paxworth to deliver sketched plans of Valistowe Castle and the surrounding grounds. The wizards’ rooms were located on the fourth floor near the king’s chambers. They used magic spells as well as locks to prevent trespassing in their chambers, and they changed the spells every few weeks, depending on their whims.
This meant I’d have no way of knowing what sort of magic I would face until I reached Valistowe. The sketches indicated thewizards’ chambers had windows but not whether they were big enough that I could scale the side of the castle to circumvent the spells.
Lady Edith and I would arrive the day before the wedding, and I’d have that day to do reconnaissance. After the wedding, the guests would be drinking heavily, toasting the royal couple and such. That night while everyone slept in various degrees of drunken stupor, I’d break into each of the wizards’ chambers and perform incantations to destroy their marks.
When the king no longer had the protection of his wizards’ magic, I’d send a signal to my lady’s maid assassin that the way was clear for her to use one of the secret entrances to the king’s chamber.
I needed items for all of these incantations as well as for a camouflage cloak I was enchanting for my maid. She wouldn’t be invisible, but as long as she moved slowly, the material would change colors, helping her blend into the background and making her harder to spot.
Gathering the ingredients for the spells took the better part of two months and that was with Madame Sutton and Master Gray’s help. I hated to think of the expense and effort the renegades undertook to fulfill my requests. Every time I contemplated abandoning my role in the upcoming treason, I remembered that expense and effort. Someone had caught and milked a wild boar for one incantation, and someone—hopefully not the same person—had climbed a mountain cliff to fetch henbane that grew there.
Madam Sutton stayed for a week to teach me royal etiquette and ensure I practiced it. She was apparently worried that such things weren’t properly taught at Lady Edith’s table.
Lady Edith didn’t know the details of the mission, nor did she want to know. “Whatever mischief you’re about,” she told me, “it is your business and should stay such.”
However, she did make the most of my upcoming assignment by insisting on not only gowns for herself but a new carriage as well. She claimed hers wasn’t fit to be seen even by the king’s servants. The renegades paid for those things and a pair of gilded inkwells as a wedding present for the royal couple.
During my many preparations, I couldn’t help but wonder if Ronan would attend the king’s wedding feast. In rational moments, I dismissed the idea. What were the chances that Ronan, just four years out of training, had a lord who thought him important enough to take? Most likely, he would remain at his lord’s castle overseeing its safety.
Yet, part of me wished I could see him in the regal halls of Valistowe. I imagined my triumphal entry into court as a member of the highborn and Ronan’s stunned surprise at seeing me. In my fantasy, Ronan looked wan and sickly and regretted spurning me. His lord, on the other hand, had a handsome son who was instantly smitten with me.
Of course, even if Ronan were at court, none of the highborn men were apt to take enough note of me to cause him jealousy. My dress would be plain next to the wealthy heiresses’ voluminous silks and my jewels unimpressive. And even if I could’ve been assured of that smitten nobleman’s son, I wouldn’t wish for Ronan’s presence. He was the only person in the kingdom who might suspect me of magical crimes.
Ten days before we were to leave, my assassin lady’s maid came to Paxworth to practice her part. Gwenyth was a tall woman of twenty-three years with straw-colored hair, wide cheeks, and a cheerful countenance that one didn’t associate with danger. She had callused palms from practicing with weaponry that one wouldn’t find in a real servant whose most arduous task was dressing and undressing her mistress.
I found the sudden constant presence of a lady’s maid disconcerting. I was used to dressing myself and only going toJoanne, Lady Edith’s maid, for help with my lacings. Gwenyth made me feel I was being watched or at least chaperoned.
She peppered me with questions while she dressed me. I supposed a servant would be expected to know details of my past, such as my time spent at Docendum and Carendale, but Madame Sutton and Master Gray had decided our mission was more likely to be successful if Gwenyth knew I had magical abilities, and she asked about those as well. I always felt somehow ungrateful for refusing to give her information on that subject.
On the day of our departure, as she tied sleeves to my gown, she asked, “When did you realize you could do magic?”
“I’ve already told you. I can’t talk of such things.”
“Won’t, not can’t,” she said grudgingly. “I’m your ally, you know. Your bodyguard. If I know naught of your powers, how will I know when you need rescuing and when you don’t?”
“I never need rescuing.”
She huffed, clearly not believing me. “I didn’t ask how any of the spells were done. Although I’d pay a pretty penny for that knowledge. I just asked when you knew.”
Perhaps I was overly worried, but I didn’t want to give details about magic lest I unwittingly revealed too much and allowed someone to piece together how I’d gotten a mark.
“I learned magic while at Docendum Castle.” I’d already told Madame Sutton and Master Grey this, so it wasn’t new information. “Docendum Castle is coincidentally also where I learned to hate wizards.”