“Of course, they won’t believe us.” He looked at me sadly and pushed another strand of hair away from my cheek. “I’m sorry, Sella. I didn’t mean to ruin your reputation.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “Yes, you’ve made that more than clear.” When we kissed, he usually pulled away first. I’d no need to set boundaries with him because he imposed them so strictly on himself.
I leaned against the wall. “I will attest to the other serving girls, as I always do, that if you hadn’t been a wizard, you would’ve certainly become a monk.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You tell people that?”
“Constantly.” He should have realized by now that the castle staff spoke in knowing whispers about the time I spent in his room.
He lay his hand over mine. “They might not believe you now.”
He was right. This was different.
I shrugged, although I could already feel the servants’ disapproving gazes aimed in my direction. “You gave me magic,” I said. “That’s fair compensation.”
The next morningwhile Ronan and I rode through the forest back to Docendum, a white-tailed eagle circled overhead. When it spotted us, it let out a cry and swooped downward, passing only inches above my head. Its beady eyes glared at me, then it flew off over the treetops and didn’t return.
It didn’t seem like a good omen.
I carried the basket, now empty of anything that would hint at the purpose of our trip. Still, I worried that the wizardswould examine it and know what we’d done. Finally, we emerged from the forest and headed toward the castle grounds. Ronan transformed back into himself, hardly panting from the run.
“Did you see the bird?” I asked.
He gave a huff of laughter that held no humor. “How could I not?”
“Was it Wolfson out searching for us?”
“Mage Quintal. He takes the form of an eagle when he wants.”
That was nearly as bad. Mage Quintal was the junior wizard at Docendum. He had little patience for the apprentices and none for the servants.
“Will you be in much trouble?” I asked.
“I suppose we’ll see.”
Ronan must have noted my worry because he reached out and squeezed my hand. “What’s the worst that could happen? They’ll expel me from the school? I already know more magic than most of the apprentices who graduate. Besides, Wolfson won’t want to banish me.” Ronan lowered his voice, perhaps to keep his words from the ears of listening eagles. “He brags too often of the things he’s taught me to send me away in disgrace.”
Ronan had grown more confident as he talked. I’d grown less so. It was true Mage Wolfson wouldn’t send Ronan away due to our infraction, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t send me away. Apparently, that outcome hadn’t occurred to Ronan.
I wanted to tell him that I loved him, but how could I when he wasn’t even worrying about our separation? But then, he accepted our separation as inevitable. That was the reason he’d given me magic. So, I held my tongue and promised myself that on the day we said our farewells, I would tell him. I would confess everything. I would take his hands in mine and bravely declare, “You are my world, and I, the sun that arises each day,whose only wish is to give you light and warmth, then sink with you into the night.”
Perhaps it wasn’t the best analogy of love. The earth and the sun were forever destined to be apart, but at least he’d know the depth of my feelings.
I half expected Mage Quintal to be sitting in a chair in the courtyard, waiting to confront us. He wasn’t there. None of the teachers were. We hurried inside the castle and went our separate ways to tell our fabricated excuse; I to the head housekeeper and master cook and he to his teachers.
The housekeeper listened to my story without expression and only said, “You really must be more careful, Marcella. Such recklessness can only hurt you. Ronan will not always be around to put things right.”
I understood her warning.
The kitchen servants simply gawked at me in disbelief as I told of my misadventures, but Cook Lindon pulled me into an embrace. This sort of affection wasn’t normal for her. “When you didn’t come back… I thought you were dead.” She held me at arm’s length and shook her head. “Have you no sense, child? What will become of you?”
What, indeed. Fortunately, the head cook issued no punishment for my misdeeds. The wizards didn’t even speak to me about it, let alone threaten to send me away. Still, I hadn’t quite escaped unscathed.
Later on, as I was collecting dishes from the apprentices’ rooms, I heard a group of maids talking about me. “They ain’t even hiding it now,” one said. “Just goes to show why you shouldn’t flaunt your prettiness. What’s all her beauty got her? Decent men will want naught of her after he leaves.”
The pronouncement stung. I stayed, unmoving, behind the apprentice’s doorway until they left.
CHAPTER 7