Celestia bowed her head. “Nothing you can say to me is worse than the recriminations I have told myself over the years. I know that I dealt him a terrible blow when he was at his weakest, but I didn’t know what else to do. I gave it weeks, but things went from bad to horrible. I didn’t want to ruin three lives, when two of them could be salvaged. I was naïve enough to think that it might eventually be all right. That he’d realize, as I honestly suspect to be true, that he’d never really loved me for me. He loved the queen in the castle, seen from afar. He loved the roles he’d made me play in our youth. But he didn’t really know me, not really. It was Rupert who knew me, inside and out.”
Ana’s outrage calmed somewhat, tempered by empathy and understanding. “It was a terrible choice you had to make.”
“Yes. And I... we paid the consequences most dearly. Dexvowed never to speak to either of us again. And because he’s Dex, and his will is stronger than any other force on earth, he made it so and has never broken his word.”
“I miss my brother,” Rupert said quietly. “You can’t imagine what it’s like knowing you deserve the hatred of someone you love. I worshipped the ground he walked on. I was overjoyed when I heard he’d taken a wife, because surely that meant things were shifting?”
“Wewere overjoyed,” Celestia amended. “And we are so happy to meet you. We deserve for you to judge us harshly, I won’t deny that. I couldn’t help observing how quick you were to defend him, and I applaud you for that. You must love him, which is what he badly needs. I hope hearing the circumstances surrounding the event has brought a tiny bit of understanding. And maybe you’ll be able to forgive us. Even if he can’t.”
Ana looked at the two of them, considering all they’d told her. She could see it from all three perspectives, the author’s curse. Their narratives entwined in this relentless, inexorable spiral. Her imagination filled in the details, painting the scene as richly as if she’d lived it herself. And she was living it, was also a character in their story. Dex was who he was in part because of these two people, people who hurt him but loved him still, pain begetting pain begetting more pain.
She must attempt to put an end to the cycle. Even if he hated her for it. There was no other way forward. It was time to write a scene of reconciliation. Of redemption.
Her brother- and sister-in-law sat still as stone, staring at her with anticipation, Celestia for the first time truly resembling her marble counterpart in the fountain. Ana took a deep breath.
“Would the two of you care to dine with us at the castle in two days’ time? How do you feel about flummery?”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“Behold!” her uncle said, throwing open the dungeon doors. “Your father awaits.”
Red, red, red was the terrible light that barely illuminated that woebegotten room. His dear features, so still behind the thick vermilion. His eyes open, yet dull. His mouth frozen in an awful rictus of disbelief. Her beloved father, immobilized in an impossible coffin constructed of purest ruby...
—The Dragon and the Blue Starby Analise Crewe
Drakefell Castle smelled divine. Cook had outdone himself, preparing what seemed to Ana’s nervously assessing eyes to be an absolute masterpiece of culinary achievement. There were to be ten palate-stimulating courses, and the crowning moment, the pièce de résistance, was a towering, tiered flummery, prepared by Ana herself.
She’d labored intensely over the blanched almonds, vigorously mashing them in a mortar with careful drops of rosewater, as if she were pounding some sense into Dex’s head with each jab of the pestle. The boiling and straining had been a whole other set of painstaking maneuvers. At one point, it appeared as if thecalf’s foot stock had not helped the dish set properly, and despair almost overwhelmed her. The kitchen staff, breath bated, watched her gently, bravely, lift the conical mold away from the jelly, and to everyone’s amazement and pride the dish held. It sat, quivering slightly, upon a magnificent platter surrounded by a festive garland of flowers and foliage, on a sideboard, ready to be served once the meal had been consumed.
She hoped they’d all be hungry.
She hoped Dex would like it.
She hoped Dex would not skewer her or her guests on the points of the rapiers that hung upon the dining hall walls.
Tessie, with Cloris and Agnes as backup, had put as much care into dressing Ana as she’d put into the flummery, sensing that this was a Very Important Occasion. The woman looking back at her from the mirror was quite pretty in her wild rose–colored silk, the deep pink hue pairing unusually well with her ruddy curls. But she was pale, oh so pale. She’d bitten her lips, a nervous habit from childhood that had reappeared with a vengeance, until they were as rosy as her dress. A small crease of worry that she’d never seen before had taken up residence between her brows.
Do you know what you’re doing?Ana asked her reflection.Will this end in disaster?There was no answer forthcoming, so she turned away in a flurry of pink skirts. Her guests were due any minute, Dex likely to be not far behind.
She was at the door when they arrived and ushered them in herself. Celestia was looking calm and ethereal in indigo taffeta, Rupert a bit disheveled, cravat askew and waistcoat rumpled. His brown hair was standing high off his head, as if he’d raked nervous fingers through it many, many times. They repaired to thedrawing room for a fortifying beverage, all ears cocked for the sound of Dex in the front hall.
Polite conversation was blessedly easy with Rupert around. He was a fount of ready observations; they flowed from his lips and required very little in the way of thought. Ana strove to match him, and soon they were volleying observations on the weather, road conditions between the estate and the castle, and the fate of the new foal in Rupert’s stables (it had lived, reported Rupert triumphantly) back and forth, while Celestia nodded and smiled as required.
Ana was grateful for their willingness to be there, to indulge her possibly ill-fated experiment. They wanted this dinner to be a success even more than she, and she was grateful for the solidarity. She wished with all her heart that she might be able to keep these amiable and friendly people in her life, add them to her tiny list of family.
If only Dex would be reasonable... She caught Rupert’s eye and knew he was thinking the same thought. He gave her a reassuring grin and a shrug, as if to say,It’s out of our hands now. As she returned the grin, she heard McArdle hurrying to the front door, the large metal hinges of which groaned laboriously as it opened and admitted the duke. His deep voice greeting McArdle, McArdle’s officious answer. Heavy footsteps growing nearer.
Ana stood up.
Dex walked into the room.
His eyes flew first to Ana, with that hungry look she couldn’t help but reciprocate, her insides melting instantaneously. He started across the room toward her, stopping abruptly as he noticed the other two figures in the room. He stood still. Stared. Swung his head back to Ana, nostrils flaring.
“Your doing, I suppose?”
“Dex! Welcome home. I thought we’d have a drink before we dine? Cook’s prepared a feast. And I’ve made flummery! Haven’t lost my touch after all these years, although I admit I was terrified it wouldn’t come out of the mold. Looked a bit sticky on the sides. But it did, it slid right out, and it’s glorious.”I’m babbling, she thought.
Rupert chimed in. “Dex, I hope you’ll allow us to stay. Perhaps we might converse as a family for a while. We only want to get acquainted with your bride, who is as charming as we could have wished for. Would that be all right with you, just a conversation? And then, of course, maybe some of the famous flummery?”