“I don’t think fate had anything to do with it. I was carried away by the frissons I was experiencing. I had no idea where it would land me.”
Thea placed an arm around her shoulders and gave her a hug. “I understand what you mean. Sometimes desire makes us behave in uncharacteristic ways. Marriage is a serious undertaking. You should be certain about spending the rest of your life with the duke.”
Ana took a bite of her rapidly melting ice. “And that’s the thing. Certainty escapes me. It’s been so sudden—one minute, he was my guardian, and the boundaries were clear enough. The next, this mysterious man whom I know next to nothing about is my betrothed, and I’m to give him my body, and some heirs, and all the rest of my days, ’til death do us part.”
Lulu’s sympathetic eyes met Thea’s. “Given the circumstances it’s very natural for you to be a little trepidatious. But surely you and the duke have feelings for each other, however sudden? I’veobserved that he has a certain regard for you, and he isn’t one to simply bow to convention for convention’s sake.”
“He says it’s a marriage of convenience, a means to an end, and that I may have my freedom, spending my time at Drakefell Castle while he lives in London.”
“Sometimes people say things they think the other person wants to hear,” Lulu said.
“But how will I know what he’s thinking? What he’s feeling?”
“If you don’t wish to marry him, you shouldn’t,” Thea said matter-of-factly. “I was in a similar situation once. Standing at an altar with a man I had no desire to marry. I’m so very glad I extricated myself. He was in love with another woman—Lulu’s sister, and my half-sister, Charlene. You’ll meet her soon, I hope.”
“I’ve been searching my heart, and I honestly don’t know whether we will suit. He’s so silent all the time.”
“He didn’t used to be quite so silent, Dalton says. The war made him lose the gift for easy speech.”
“He’s so cryptic, nothing but closed doors and mysteries.” She thought back to her first moments in his house, the impersonality of his décor, the terse list, the locked room. “Do the names Kitty, Janet, and Laurel mean anything to you? I found them written down in his handwriting.”
Thea shook her head. “No, I can’t say that I recognize any of them.”
“Could they be his... mistresses?” Ana felt herself hesitant to voice the thought, and strangely fearful of Thea’s response.
“I highly doubt that. As far as I know, he was considered a rake before the war but after returning he’s been mostly solitary. That is, until you arrived.”
Ana felt relief wash over her. Thea wasn’t offering her anysubstantive help solving the mystery of the names, but at least she was eliminating an objectionable explanation.
“Perhaps Dex has been waiting for a vivacious, well-spoken companion to draw him out of his solitude,” Lulu said dreamily, ready to believe the best for her new friend.
“But I seem to be failing completely at drawing him out. He’s immovable. I can’t imagine a life with him... long evenings, totally silent after I exhaust my own chatter. He said that once I bore an heir he would leave me alone. I could live my own life.” To her consternation, she felt tears pricking the insides of her eyes. She thought of the fun she’d had, riding in the sun at his side. The fresh air and gentle pace of the horses and his steady attentiveness lulling her into a deep sense of security. She’d felt... at home, in a way she could hardly describe.
“Ana.” Thea took her hands and gave them a small shake. “We could talk about this all day, but you’d only be hearing our side of things. If you have this much doubt clouding your mind, the person you should be talking to is your fiancé.”
Chapter Nineteen
Amsonia’s face crumpled. “I can’t believe . . . my own family . . .”
The sight of her tears made him want to kill for her, made him want to comfort her. He longed to touch her. He could not. He must not.
These cruel talons would rip her to shreds. The only thing he had to offer was his protection.
—The Dragon and the Blue Starby Analise Crewe
Ana paced the long hallway, steeling her nerves. She’d arrived home to a silent house. She was to eat supper alone, again, McArdle informed her. His Grace had barricaded himself in his study with a visitor. No other information was given.
Enough. She’d had enough with the whole situation.
She must force Warburton, Deckard... what was she supposed to call him now? She must force him to speak his mind, answer her questions. His actions that afternoon had obviously been an act designed to stave off gossip, and while she appreciated the gesture, it left her feeling hollow inside. She couldn’t marry someone who had no genuine affection for her. She thought too highly of herself for that.
She paused outside the parlor door, hearing loud voices from inside. The duke and... Lady Glynis? What was she doing here? Ana lingered outside the door, not wanting to interrupt their conversation.
“Have you seen the scandal sheets?” she heard Lady Glynis ask. “They’re having a feast off this:A Marriage Made in Haste.To Wed a Winsome Ward. It’s humiliating!”
“I don’t read the scandal sheets,” was the cool reply.
“Well, you should. Then you might reconsider your rash promise to marry.”