“Lily, are you in there?” The unmistakable sound of Julian’s voice cut through the wind.
“Julian?” She lifted her head and pricked up her ears.
“Lily, can you hear me?!” His voice drew closer to the door.
Jumping to her feet, she hurried to the door and placed her ear against the wood. The unmistakable sound of the iron bar lifting made her pulse race.
“Julian!” She almost cried as the door began to give way. Without thinking, she rushed into his arms, feeling the warmth of his chest against her despite the cold of the storm behind him.
His arms moved around her, drawing her closer as he spoke above her head. “What happened? I was so worried about you.” He gently pushed her away, looking into her eyes as he held her upper arms in a gentle embrace.
The concern in his eyes made a single tear fall down her cheek.
He was worried about me.
Lifting a hand to her cheek, he cupped her face in his palm and used the pad of his thumb to wipe away her tears.
“I…” She began to stammer, feeling as if he could burst from relief.
“You can take a deep breath now. I am here.” His voice was filled with quiet encouragement as the corner of his mouth tipped up into a warm smile.
Something beneath her ribs stirred as she almost melted against him. He was far kinder than any man she had ever met, yetshe still felt unworthy of being someone he cared for. Had she told him before about Oliver, it would have made matters much easier.
Sucking in a sharp breath, Lily pulled away from him, clearing her throat as she tried to create a distraction from the nagging feeling in her chest that she was falling in love with him. “I was silly, really. I wanted some time away from all the guests, and I thought checking on the mill would be a good idea. I am used to the storms in America, so I should have known better.” She forced her lips into a smile, fidgeting with the edges of her cloak on either side of her body.
Thunder rumbled in the distance as it ushered in even heavier droplets of rain.
Julian nodded in understanding, though disappointment flickered in his eyes.
Is he disappointed that I came, or that I drew away from him?
Conflicted feelings warred in her chest as she wondered if he felt the same way about her. Did he think of her when they were not together, and when he looked in her eyes with those hazel depths, did he consider her more than just a bride of convenience?
The moment between them dragged on a little longer until Julian turned his head to look at the window. “Well, it does not matter how we got here. We are here now, and by the sound of things, we will have to wait out the storm. There is no use in getting struck by lightning when there is an estate to be saved.”
A slight laugh escaped her lips as he turned back to her. He was so easy to be around. She never had to watch what she said or did, and that alone made her adore him even more. Without even realizing it, Julian had become her safe space. Her home away from home and her quiet amidst a raging storm.
“The horses!” Lily’s heart suddenly leapt into her throat as she recalled the poor creatures outside.
Stepping forward, Julian shook his head once before taking her hands in his. “They are safe. I led them both to shelter before coming to find you.” The warmth of his hands seeped into hers, reminding Lily of just how cold the storm was outside.
Her breath caught in her throat, making her all too aware of how good it felt when he held her hands. “I think we had better make ourselves comfortable.” She quickly withdrew her hands and averted her gaze, not wanting him to see just how much his presence affected her.
I cannot be a fool again.
She tried to compose herself as she made her way over to the pile of hay where the indent of her figure still shaped the area. Picking the same spot, she sat and drew her knees up to her chest, pulling her cloak around her as she waited for Julian to sit. It was difficult being in his presence when there was so much she wanted to ask him and even more to tell him.
Yet the past nagged at her, telling her not to fall in love again lest she end up back where she was. It was far too dangerous to trust the unsteady beating of her heart.
“May I join you?” he asked, hesitating as he hovered over the small pile of hay.
“Of course, I did not mean to be rude.” Lily quickly shifted aside, making space beside herself.
“Much obliged.” He closed the distance between them, lowering himself onto the pile of hay beside her, leaving just enough space between them that their knees were barely touching.
An awkward silence set in around them in which nothing but the raging of the storm and the pelting of the raindrops could be heard.
I should tell him now.