Julian cleared his throat and quickly stepped back, letting go of her hips in the process as he looked a little embarrassed.
“Shall we set the blanket near the stream?” Lily asked, attempting to lighten the mood.
Why was it so awkward?
She watched him walk away from her as he began to unfasten the picnic basket and blanket from his saddle. They had been married for a short while, but it still felt as if they had only just met.
I must keep my distance from him, Lily reminded herself. It was easy to forget what could happen when her heart was involved, especially when he looked as handsome as he did in his riding gear.
He turned back to her with the basket in hand, nodding toward the blanket he had flung over his arm. “Would you take the blanket along, and I will follow with the basket?” He seemed to have returned to normal as he gestured toward the stream.
Doing as she was asked, Lily took the blanket from him and headed toward the stream, picking a spot in the shade of the willow where they could look out over the valley. “It is beautiful here,” she said, almost breathlessly, once the blanket had been laid.
Julian came up beside her and placed the basket on the grass. “It is, and it will bring in quite a large sum of money if we decide to sell it.” He began to unpack the contents of the basket.
“Sell?” Lily turned to him with a frown.
Nodding, Julian gestured for her to take a seat once all of the fruits, bread, cheese, and apple cider had been unpacked. “The money given to us in your dowry was enough to save Redding Hall, and even enough to replenish the staff here at the cottage. But we will need a way of making more money to keep the estate afloat. The former viscount did not do much in the way of working the lands.”
He gestured to the empty pasture where livestock should have been grazing.
Kneeling, Lily fanned out her skirt before making herself comfortable and shifting her position. “I understand, but surely there is more that could be done. If the former viscount failed to work the lands, then is it not possible for us to hire new tenants?” She reached for a few grapes and placed them in her palm before popping one in her mouth.
Julian’s expression changed to one of surprise as he cocked his head to the side. “I am surprised, I did not think that you would want to take such an interest in the working of the lands. It would require a great deal of time and effort that would need to be spent here. Not to mention that we will still need to maintain Redding Hall as well.”
“And what of it? The less time we can spend in London, the more I shall enjoy myself here in the country. I shall not mind if we need to take up permanent residence here at the cottage. Perhaps my aunt would even agree to gift me my favorite horse. Ecclesia would love a life here in the open fields.” She held his gaze determinedly.
Julian shook his head as he lowered his gaze and reached for a piece of bread and cheese. “I know we have not known each other for very long, but you continue to surprise me. I would never have thought that a lady would willingly want to spend all her time in the countryside repairing an estate.”
“You must not have met many young ladies such as myself then. Was there one lady in particular who made you think so poorly of us?” Lily’s mind instantly wandered to Eleanor. She could not imagine her being able to spend a life in the country or even living in a cottage. Someone like Eleanor would more than likely need the hustle of London Society to keep her occupied.
“Her name was Anne Sullivan.” His tone was grave when he finally looked up at her.
“I beg your pardon?” Lily frowned at him, lowering the bunch of grapes to her lap.
Shifting his position on the blanket, Julian sighed before drawing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around his legs. “I was in love once; her name was Anne Sullivan. She meant the world to me, and I would have married her had things been different.”
He was in love?
Something deep within her chest clenched painfully as Lily suddenly grew uncomfortable. She had known that Eleanor had been in love with him, but to hear that he had been in love with somebody else made her slightly uneasy. “May I ask what happened?”
Julian nodded. “It is not much of a story. I came back from the war, hoping to settle down, but she left me for someone with a title. I was just Mr. Sinclair back then, no title and very little money.” He looked down at his boots as a hint of sadness danced in his eyes.
“Julian… I do not know what to say, I am so sorry…” Her heart broke for him despite the small pang of jealousy she had felt. She had never considered the fact that Julian could have been in love with somebody else. The thought twisted deep in her gut as she recalled the details of their arrangement. Was Anne the reason he had been eager to accept her terms? Did he still love her, or, like her feelings toward Oliver, had they changed?
All of the questions made her fidget as she struggled to grasp her own emotions. It should not matter if he still loved Anne, not when Lily had vowed never to love again.
His mouth curved into a sad smile. “That was many years ago, but I vowed I would never marry. And then…” his voice trailed off as he gazed out over the pasture.
“And then you suddenly became a destitute viscount in need of finances, and I stumbled into your life,” she finished for him, her tone teasing as she tried to lighten her own burdensome thoughts.
“Exactly, and I am glad of it. Not the destitute part, but the part where you stumbled into my life. One can hope for a good partner, but it is very seldom that one comes across a great one, and you, Lily Sinclair, are a man’s dream.”
Her heart skipped a beat as she averted her gaze. What did he mean by that? Did he have feelings for her, or did he just think of her as someone who would stand by his side? Another pang of something strange gripped her chest.
Why do I feel this way?
She felt her breathing deepen as she parted her lips. What would he say if she told him about Oliver and the fact that he was still threatening her?