Her body froze when he suddenly placed his hand over his on the railing of the crib. Looking up, she felt her breath catching again at the tender look in his eyes.
“It would be nice to have an heir, someday, but I will not force you until you are ready.” His voice dripped with honesty as she read it in his eyes as well. The man was unwavering, unflinching, and even determined in the face of uncertainty.
Her breathing quickened as she continued to look into his eyes. Those gorgeous, deep, hazel eyes with flecks of green and gold.
His fingers tightened slightly over hers, making her palms itch as she fought the desire to turn over her hand.
“Julian… I…” Her voice was low as her heart began to race, furiously slamming itself against the walls of her chest.
His thumb moved gently over the top of gloved hand. “You need not say anything now. We have all the time in the world for decisions to be made. I was simply letting you know that I am open and willing to the idea of children.” He lifted a hand, gently gripping her chin between his fingers and thumb before tracing a line along her jaw.
Lily felt her body being drawn to his by an unstoppable force as she leaned forward. Her eyes closed with a single breath, and her pulse stilled.
I cannot do this.
Her eyes suddenly shot open as she felt Julian leaning in. Taking a step back, she removed her hand from beneath his as if she had been slapped.
“Lily?” Julian’s eyes darted open as he searched her face with a panicked look.
“I think we should end the tour for today. We must still prepare for Lady Archibald’s ball.” She hurried past him, not wanting to address the stunned look of surprise in his gaze.
I was not thinking straight.
She hurried down the stairs, taking them two at a time as she attempted to clear her head. Something odd seemed to happento her whenever she was alone in Julian’s presence. It was almost as if she became someone else who was unable to think or even act correctly.
Entering the main gallery of the house, she swiftly made her way across and headed for the main staircase in the foyer. The musty smell mingled with the freshly sawn wood was beginning to make her feel ill as she struggled with all the emotions rising inside of her.
Somewhere in the distance, she could hear Julian hurrying to catch up with her, but she pushed on ahead and burst through the front doors, gulping in air as if her life depended on it.
That was too close.
Her heart thudded furiously for reasons more than her efforts to run away. She had vowed never to allow her heart to be opened again, not after what Oliver had done to her, but she was getting dangerously close to falling for Julian. She could feel it in the beating of her heart and every stolen glance.
That can never happen again.
She fought back the pain that arose as she thought of how close she had come to kissing him. It was far too dangerous to allow her heart to be shattered again.
She finally stopped on the porch and took a deep breath, composing herself from her racing thoughts to her pulsing heart. She had just begun to feel better when Julian suddenly appeared behind her.
“Lily, can we talk about…” His voice trailed off when a figure suddenly called to them from down the drive.
“Yoohoo! Lord and Lady Barnard!” Eleanor Everet waved to them as she hurried forward, a simple basket swinging from her arm.
Glancing over her shoulder, Lily caught sight of the irritated look on his face. Had he been that annoyed by her abrupt departure? She turned back ahead just as Eleanor reached the steps leading up the porch.
“I thought I saw the Sinclair carriage from down the drive. Are the two of you checking on the renovations? There must be so much to be done before you can move in,” she said through labored breaths, evidence of the hurrying she had done.
Lily smiled down at her, but Julian spoke up before she could greet.
“What are you doing in the country?” he asked almost as abruptly as Lily had left the nursery.
Sucking in a sharp breath, Eleanor seemed hurt at first, but she quickly fixed her lips into a smile. “My father had some business to do here in the country, and I thought I would take a walk.”
Lily jumped in before Julian could answer again. It was not Eleanor’s fault that he had been so annoyed by her. “That does sound lovely, Miss Everet. Have you been enjoying your walk?”She asked kindly despite the scowl on Julian’s face as he looked at his boots.
The question seemed to brighten her expression as Eleanor smiled at Lily. “I am, thank you for asking. As a matter of fact, I am glad I bumped into you. I wanted to ask if you cared to join me back in London while I run some errands?”
Julian cleared his throat this time as he came up beside Lily and gently took her arm. “That is a wonderful invitation, Miss Everet, but I am afraid that Lady Barnard and I have a dinner party to attend this evening. There will not be any time.” His voice was still short and clipped, despite the politeness of his words.