I felt a thud of realisation as it became clear that, yet again, Dad and his new family – except they weren’t new anymore, since my half-sister and half-brother were twenty-two and twenty-four respectively – had put themselves before me and my feelings. I’d really been looking forward to seeing them all, especially Dad.
‘But it’s all planned,’ I said, trying not to sound shrieky. I knew Dad hated it when I got all emotional – he’d told me often enough. ‘My train ticket’s all booked, Glasgow to Leicester. Sharon must have known I was coming because she said she’d put the others in together so that I could have my own room!’
My dad made some weird grumbling noises, which I took to mean that he didn’t know what to say. ‘Sorry about that. She said she didn’t realise, and the Amsterdam trip’s all booked.’
I sighed. This conversation was pointless, he’d alreadymade up his mind that he was blowing me out to go to Amsterdam, and who could blame him? It was Sharon I was fucked off with. She’d done this sort of thing before and, honestly, I didn’t suppose it was malicious on her part, I just didn’t imagine I entered into her sphere of thought most of the time. ‘Not much I can say then, is there? Anyway, I’m needed at work, so I’ll have to go.’
‘We’ll celebrate together some other time, eh?’
‘Sure, Dad. Happy birthday and have a great time.’
I hung up, feeling like something hard and sharp was pressing into my chest. Funny how these things triggered you, even years later. Conversations like this – and there were a lot of them – took me right back to being a child again, when Mum and Dad had first split up and everything had felt tense and uncertain and I’d been worried a lot of the time. They hadn’t seemed particularly bothered about spending time with me then, either, so I didn’t know why I kept hoping things would change.
‘Everything OK?’
I turned to see Lou beside me. She had her camera to her eye, setting up the shot. Finlay was shin-deep in water, getting the kayaks into position.
‘My dad’s just cancelled my trip.’
‘What, the one in a couple of days’ time?’
‘Yep.’
Lou rubbed my arm. ‘Sorry, Mads. He’s crap, isn’t he?’
I nodded. ‘I should have known something like this would happen.’
‘When are we going to get it through our heads that our parents are not miraculously going to change overnight?’ said Lou, whose wedding to Will was nearly ruined when her divorced parents practically came to blows at the reception.
‘Maddie! Ruthie needs her make-up touching up.’
Tim’s too-loud voice snapped me out of thinking about Dad, so at least I had him to thank for that.
I turned, plastering on a smile to face Ruthie, who was wrapped in a blanket and looking decidedly pissed off. I dipped down to get my make-up kit and as I stood up, I spotted Aidan watching me. He smiled at me and I nodded back. Perhaps daydreaming about having a wild, Scottish fling with him would pull me out of my bad mood. I unzipped the make-up kit, grabbed a pot of concealer and a brush and approached Ruthie.
‘Feeling all right about getting out on the water?’ I asked her brightly as I dabbed beige paste onto her face and blended it in.
‘No, I am not,’ said Ruthie. ‘What if I fall in?’
‘Oh, you won’t,’ replied Aidan, appearing beside us. ‘It’s practically impossible to capsize in a kayak.’
Ruthie looked at him, her sneer instantly turning into a smile. I wondered if he had that effect on everyone. ‘Oh, hello! Are you our kayaking instructor?’ she asked in a throaty voice.
Aidan laughed and shook his head. ‘I’m afraid not. But I am coming out on the water with you. So if you need a hand, just shout.’
Ruthie appeared to have turned into a simpering wreck. I mean, I couldn’t blame her, Aidan was being particularly manly/caring right now, which I had to admit was an excellent combo.
‘I might just take you up on that,’ said Ruthie, regally holding out her hand so that Aidan could shake it.
To be fair to him, he picked up on her cues and did exactly what was required, taking her hand.
‘Ruthie Withenshaw, lead presenter of Holiday Shop,’ she said.
‘Pleased to meet you, Ruthie. I’m Aidan, travel writer on theHampstead and Highgate Express.’
He gave her a dazzling smile which was so infectious that I almost smiled myself, even though it wasn’t aimed at me. As I put the concealer away and got out the trusty powder compact, I caught Aidan’s eye. Of course, my imagination was probably running away with me, but I had a feeling that he’d introduced himself to Ruthie to lighten the mood and help me out. Which would mean he’d actually noticed I needed some assistance. Which for some reason – because I was a sucker for feeling ‘seen’, probably – really cheered me up after being let down by my dad. Seriously, there had to be something wrong with this guy because on first impressions, he wasmuchtoo good to be true.
‘All done,’ I said to Ruthie, who stalked off, no doubt to moan to Tim about what a ridiculous idea all this was.