Why did it have to beThe Times?
‘I’m more of aGraziagirl. Anyway, I don’t think I could organically start a conversation about crosswords.’
Nick picked up his keys. ‘Look, sweetie, just be yourself, OK? They’ll grow to love you.’
‘Aha!’ I said. ‘I knew it! You saidgrowto love me.’
Nick kissed me to shut me up, a technique I’d noticed he used often and sometimes I didn’t mind, but tonight I did.
‘Stop being so defensive, Maddie. Everything’s fine. And you look beautiful and I am very proud to call you my fiancée and that is all you need to know.’
He planted another kiss on my forehead and I felt a miniscule amount better. So what if his family were caught up in their own self-importance? Worst-case scenario, once I’d got through this trip, I’d barely have to see them, anyway, if we didn’t become as close as I’d hoped. They livedmiles away in Gloucestershire, hence I’d managed to avoid meeting them at all thus far. It was only after we’d got engaged that we’d both thought it would be a good idea. And, I realised, thinking about it now, that was only four weeks ago – this trip must have been planned months in advance. I wondered, now, if Nick had been planning to come on his own. And whether Sophia had been expecting him to come alone, and whether she might have felt put out, having my appearance sprung on her like this. I supposed it was just as awkward for her as it was for me.
I picked up my clutch bag and followed Nick out of the room, wishing the butterflies in my stomach would settle. Touching my hair, I prayed that it stayed as straight and sleek as it had been last time I’d looked in the mirror but also knowing that it wouldn’t.
Once I’d had a glass or two of wine I’d be able to relax and enjoy myself, I was sure of it. After all, this was supposed to be a celebration – if we kept the conversation light and focused on Rosamund and Peter, it would be fine. I was overthinking things and I knew it.
The lift doors pinged open on the ground floor and we got out and crossed the lobby, me wobbling a little in my heels because of the carpet. I almost wanted to slip off my shoes and walk barefoot on it, to feel my feet sinking into the pile, but I didn’t suppose that would be the done thing and it definitely wouldn’t help me win over the family. Subdued classical music was being piped out through strategically placed speakers and the open fire in the bar area had been lit, even though it was relatively warm outside last time I’d checked. Perhaps the temperature dropped in the evenings. A couple were sitting next to the flames nursing glasses of wine and talking softly to each other. His hand was on herknee; her ankle was wrapped around his. If we’d been here on our own, Nick and I could have done the same thing. Although, saying that, since we’d moved in together eighteen months ago, we’d been going out less and less for drinks and dinner, and we hadn’t been on anything resembling a date since we’d got back from Paris. Lou, who had married her husband Will a few years ago, had warned me about this. She said it was important to keep that spark going, but when I tried to arrange something romantic, Nick cried off nine times out of ten citing work issues. I didn’t suppose you got to management level in a huge company like Sky by doing nine-to-five hours, so this was the pay-off. It was how I’d ended up living in his three-bedroom apartment in St John’s Wood and why I had to fight to pay any rent at all because he said he didn’t need me to (but I wanted to, because I didn’t want to feel like some sort of kept woman – I had a career, too, and had always paid my own way). If it wasn’t work, it was something with Daisy. He was always on the phone to Sophia – I heard him talking to her in hushed whispers, calming her down. Although Nick never enlightened me, and I was never sure whether to ask or not, it seemed as though Sophia was finding it hard to deal with having a teenager at home with her all the time, and I didn’t get the impression that Nick wanted to rock the boat (or worse, have Sophia insist that Daisy live with him), and so he would listen sympathetically and reassure her that she was an amazing mother. I felt for Daisy, actually. I knew what it was like when your parents split up and you felt like you didn’t belong anywhere and that neither of them really wanted you around anymore.
We turned the corner and entered the restaurant, which looked beautiful this evening with candles flickering on every available surface and immaculately dressed waiters swanningaround with plates of exquisite-looking food. I was determined to try something different tonight, to be adventurous. Maybe I’d have a dish from the specials board, if I could decipher what any of them actually were. Anyway, I was going to have to get out of my comfort zone this evening because I was pretty sure that my Italian go-to, spaghetti carbonara, would not be on the menu. I’d caught sight of it earlier and there was a definite fine dining vibe.
I spotted Rosamund immediately, at a table by the window. She kind of shimmered, which I thought was probably to do with the way her diamond earrings reflected the light. She was dazzling in red, her hair even bigger and more bouffant than it had been earlier. I had to admit, she looked magnificent.
I took a deep breath. I’d got this. It was just Nick’s mum, nothing bad was going to happen.
‘OK?’ said Nick, taking my hand.
He could obviously sense that I was apprehensive, and giving him the third degree upstairs probably hadn’t helped.
‘Think so,’ I said, slotting my fingers between his.
I’d be all right as long as I stuck with him. In a few hours, it would all be over and we’d be back in our room and then tomorrow morning I’d be able to do thatRoom with a Viewthing with the window.
It was as we dropped into single file to squeeze between two tables that I saw him. Face-on, so there was no mistaking it. Sitting alone at a table to the right, looking as shocked as I was, was Aidan.
I squeezed Nick’s hand tighter, feeling light-headed, suddenly, as though my body had disconnected from my brain. It had been him, I hadn’t been going mad. And there he was now, staring at me with those big eyes and that perfect, perfect face. Anger surged up inside me and I felt physicallysick. Trust him to show up now, after two years of radio silence, just as I was ready to move on properly. I hated him in that moment.
I snapped my head away, forcing myself to look at Rosamund and her diamonds, to smile and to think about what was important: Nick and his family and the life we were about to start together. Not Aidan and his stupid, broken promises.
Chapter Four
We had to go through the rigmarole of air kisses and hugs again – well, Nick did, I didn’t. Only Sophia half-heartedly brushed her ruby-red lips across my cheek; to everyone else, I might as well have not existed as they all fawned over Nick, stroking his lapels, fussing to make sure he was seated in prime position opposite Rosamund and next to – of all people – Sophia.
And meanwhile all I could think about was Aidan. It took all my strength not to turn around and look at him. I wanted to know if he was feeling as terrible as I was. I doubted it; if he’d cared about me at all, he wouldn’t have done what he did, and a long time had passed since then. Other than a brief moment of surprise, I didn’t imagine that seeing me would have any impact on him whatsoever. His annoyingly perfect cheekbones were imprinted in my mind’s eye, like when you looked at the sun by mistake and then you could see it for ages afterwards. He still had that tough-guy-meets-maths-nerd vibe. For some reason, I’d noticed his long fingers, wrapped around his glass; the sexy, just-enough stubble.
‘Sit down, darling,’ said Nick, pulling my chair out for me.
I swallowed hard. Nick was irritating me, which wasn’t fair, but I kept wondering why he’d suddenly become all affected, calling me ‘darling’ when it was usually sweetie(which, OK, wasn’t great either, but then I wasn’t big on terms of endearment). Pulling my chair out for me, like Aidan used to, when Nick had never done that before in his life. All I wanted was to go back to my room and be quiet and think. Maybe I could feign a headache.
I sat down, all self-conscious, feeling like I was going to miss the seat completely and crash to the floor. That would have pleased Rosamund. And my mortification in front of Aidan would have been complete.
‘How was your walk in Florence earlier?’ asked Rosamund, smiling tightly at me. ‘I hear you had gelato. How lovely.’
‘It was,’ I said, practically blinded by the dazzle from her earrings. ‘Daisy’s cherry flavour looked particularly good.’
I wondered what Aidan thought of these people I was with; of Nick, whose hand I’d been holding. He could hardly miss us, what with Sophia guffawing at something Nick had said and Rosamund, who might as well have had chandeliers hanging from her earlobes. I repeated a mantra in my mind:Do not think about Aidan. Do not think about Aidan. Do not think about Aidan and how much he hurt you or, at least, not until later. I would give myself permission to think about him for an hour, and no more, when Nick was asleep and I was lying there in the moonlight, and then I would never think about him again.
Daisy, who was on the other side of me, was slouched down in her seat, sucking manically on a straw. She looked as delighted to be there as I was.