“I met a woman I’m in love with, who I’d take a charge for and come sit in this bitch for twenty-five to life right beside you, and when she asked about us spending the rest of our lives together and having kids, I told her I didn’t know if I could give her that because I feel like I’ve already raised some… That wasn’t a choice I got to make, honestly. I mean, people can say I chose to fight to keep us together and they’d be right, but what was the other choice? Let them go to the state?” I scoffed and shook my head. “I loved my brothers, and if I had to go back in time, I’d take care of them again but… I resent you a lil bit. I’m not gon’ lie.”
“That’s valid.” My father took another puff of his cigarette. “You’re more of a man at your age than I am at mine, Stone. You and Elijah did the best you could with what you were given and I know shit wasn’t fair but life ain’t fair. And as hard as life was and as heavy as your choices were, when you were figuring shit out, you made it to the other side. Whether you walk away today and never talk to me again or decide I’m worth having a relationship with, I want you to know that and I want you to take care of yourself.
“Your brothers are older now and you mentioned a girlfriend and a boyfriend. I don’t know what that means but I know you’d never make the same mistakes I made, so I’m happy for you. You deserve to be selfish, Stone, and ay, you did shit I couldn’t even imagine, raising those boys. Give yourself credit for that. They’re fed and taken care of and they’ve never had to sell drugs. You did that. You cultivated a space where your brothers can do shit you never got a chance to, and look at Morocco, raising his kid and already being a better father than me.” He nodded and sniffed and I realized he was fighting tears.
I looked away immediately, picking a spot on the ground and focusing on it.
“I don’t hate you,” I said quietly. “We had good times together when I was younger. You provided for us and in your own way, you care about us. I know that. I just…” I exhaled. “I don’t hate you.”
“I did what I could with what I knew at the time, Stone, and that’s not an excuse. That’s just reality.” He took another puff of the cigarette then put it out. “I’m proud of you, kid.”
“Everything that’s happened to me is why I am the man I am, the man Kiano and Jiselle think is worthy of them and who got my brothers where they are. And honestly, that’s enough. I said everything I wanted to say and we can’t go back in time, so that’s it. I’m done with this shit. I’m faithful and I don’t sell drugs. If I ever have kids of my own, I’ll never make them figure life out on their own. I know that for sure. I have two people in my life who love and want to take care of me and I, uh… that shit’s been hard for me after taking care of anybody else but I’m trying and I’m happy.” I felt my own tears bubbling to the surface, sniffed and let my head fall forward. “It’s hard to navigate relationships when you have to be a father without ever getting to really be a son.” I wiped my eyes and cleared my throat. “But I don’t hate you,” I repeated. “I hope you have peace, man, and I hope one day, when you get out of here and get a second chance at life, you make it everything you want it to be.” I pushed myself up and hit him on the back. “If you call, I’ll tell Drake to talk to you at least once.”
“And if I call you when you get out of here, will you answer?”
“I’ll think about it.” I wiped my hands on my pants. “But, uh, I don’t really know what else there is for us to talk about right now.”
“Alright.” He nodded.
“Alright.” I repeated. I headed toward the entrance to be escorted to my cell and paused a few feet away. When I turned around, he was still staring at me.
I swallowed and cleared my throat. I shifted on my feet and nodded while words failed me for a brief second.
“I’ll answer.”
21
I shook hands with the woman in front of me as soon as she was close. I forced a smile I hoped was disarming as she shook my father’s hand and the hand of our family lawyer as well before we collapsed into our respective seats.
“What can I do for you? You’ve been blowing my phone up.”
“Yeah. I apologize about that but this was a time sensitive meeting,” I said.
“I bet it was.” The woman cut her eyes toward me.
My smile fell.
“Look. You know why we’re here. Name your price so I can cut your check and we can go about our business.”
“I don’t remember naming a price.”
“I was under the impression that was why we were here,” my father said. “And since you don’t seem sure about what you’d like to do, let me make you an offer. We’ll cover all of your husband’s medical bills while he’s healing from his injury and cut you a check for three hundred thousand dollars.”
“Three hundred thousand?” she repeated. “He may never be able to see again!”
She was right. I’d done a number on her husband. He’d had surgery on his nose and one of his eyes. His face had beenbattered almost beyond recognition but he’d lived. From what I knew, he was sitting up in a hospital bed, barely coherent and running up an insane bill. He’d be able to talk and walk again though and had no lasting brain injuries.
I wasn’t sure if I was happy or not and I was fine being that big of a piece of shit honestly.
“I’m not yelling at you, so please don’t yell at me. You can counteroffer if you’d like.”
I sat back in my seat and resisted the urge to look at my father. He was commanding this little meeting the same way he commanded the boardroom. It was a gift he had that I couldn’t duplicate no matter how hard I tried.
She sat up in her seat. “I was thinking more like a million.”
“You’d be lucky to get half that.”
“Lucky isn’t the word I’d use for anything in this situation,” she hissed. “That animal you’re trying to get out of jail brutally attacked my husband.”