“You’re not,” he said simply. “And that’s nothing to be ashamed of, but you should be taking care of yourself. Stone would want you to take care of yourself,” he added.
“Right.” I rubbed my running nose with the back of my sleeve. “I’m the reason he’s even in jail and I’m standing around?—”
Morocco cut me off. “Look, me, Joss, Drake, and Xy can say we’re the reason Elijah is in jail too. Shit. He got locked up trying to provide for us, right? But we don’t and he wouldn’t want us to take that blame.” He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the counter. “I’ve known Stone my entire fucking life. He’s a grown man and he’s been to jail before. If he cared about going, he wouldn’t have done whatever got him caught up.” Heshrugged. “I love Stone and I’m going to do what I can to get him out but I’m also going to make sure Xy and Joss are good, eat at least twice a day, smile at my daughter, and shower. There ain’t no shame in that shit. Life didn’t stop when Elijah got clipped, and as much as you love Stone, life ain’t gon’ stop for him either. You and Kiano are doing what you can and that’s all you can do. Don’t make yourself sick behind this shit.” He hit my back. “I think you should go home.”
“What?”
“I’m not saying you aren’t welcome here but I am saying sitting up in Stone’s room while Kiano is running around and everyone is at work and school ain’t doing you or your mental no favors. Stone used to do the same shit when Elijah first got arrested… go into Elijah’s room and sit at the foot of his bed for hours. It don’t help.”
“I know.” I sniffed.
“Good.” He turned toward me and hugged me, hitting me on my back twice. “Go home. Get real rest, and if you and Kiano want to come back out here when he’s done doing what he’s doing, cool.”
“If you hear anything, will you call me?”
“Stone is definitely going to call you or Kiano first.” He smiled and nodded. “But yeah. If I hear something, I’ll call you.”
“Thank you.”
“Yeah. I’ve got you.”
I nodded and took a slow breath then nodded again and swallowed.
“Alright. I’ll see you tonight for dinner.”
“Sounds good, J.”
I exhaled, squared my shoulders, and headed to Stone’s room. I took a glance around and closed my eyes to get my tears under control. Then I snatched up my keys and bag and headed out.
I drove home with my music blasting and my hand tapping the beat on my steering wheel. The last thing I needed was silence.
When I got home and pushed the door open, I didn’t bother putting the lights on. I threw my bag on the floor by the door and waded through the open space in the dark. I collapsed across my couch and made a move to check my phone. I had several messages and I fumbled to unlock it while unable to use my facial recognition. I lifted my phone and tapped it several times before the screen slid to my camera by accident.
I sucked my teeth then paused. My eyebrows knitted together and I moved my phone one way then the other. A purple light gleamed through my camera. I sat up and took a picture. Then I pushed myself up and turned the lights on. I walked over to where I’d seen the light and squinted, trying to see where the reflection had come from.
I grabbed a chair and stood on it to check it out. It took several minutes for me to pinpoint the spot and I felt physically sick when I saw it was a camera.
Someone had put a camera in my home. I yanked it off and climbed off the chair. I tossed it into my sink and ran water on it while I tried to think of who had access to my place. It wasn’t a long list. The building’s maintenance team, Stone, Kiano, a few friends.
I tried to think about the last time I laid in my living room.
How long had the camera been up and I hadn’t noticed?
I grabbed my phone and headed to my bedroom.
I repeated the same technique, walking around in the dark with my camera and felt my breathing grow shallow while I tried to grapple with the fact I’d been watched in the place I felt most secure talking and changing and having sex with my men.
I pushed down the sickening feeling and continued my hunt. I felt like I was getting light headed when I found the second camera.
I texted Kiano immediately.
Me:
Can you come to my place when you’re free?
Kiano:
Omw now.