“Why, exactly, are you mad at me?” I demand, stepping even closer.
“Because youfollowed me. You’re the king’s advisor. You help oversee everyone—the soldiers, the builders, the cooks, the hunters, the benders. You are so used to having some level of control over every situation. But you don’t control this, Vann. Someone wants to hurt me and used my body to kill another. I slaughtered Diego. I?—”
She goes silent.
Another moment passes, and I wait for her to continue. When she doesn’t, I say, “I’m not so foolhardy that I believe an iron fist alone will manage the darkness that lurks in you. I want to help you.”
Her laughter is bitter, humorless. “I know you plan to tie me up again. It’s not good enough—what if you doze off and I gnaw through the ropes like some rogue monster?”
“Remember, you aren’t a monster.” Then I frown. “And I thought you agreed it would be wise for you to be bound?”
“I said nothing!” she shoots back, her voice cracking.
The tension between us coils tighter, and for a moment, the only sound is the crackle of the fire. Her gaze drops again, and she hugs her arms, curling into herself like she’s trying to disappear.
“Why does being tied up bother you so much?” I ask quietly. The scroll in her room spoke of such things with pleasure. I can’t make out how this is different.
Her shoulders tense, and I know I’ve hit a nerve. She doesn’t answer right away, and I’m not sure she will. But then, so softly I almost miss it, she says, “It’s nothing.”
“This again? If we are to be both travel companions and friends, then I think it is best we speak honestly.”
She looks up at me then, and there is something raw in her expression, something that makes my heart stumble. “Surely you have scars that you don’t show anyone.”
The statement catches me off guard. Of course I did. Sometimes… the way she challenges me makes me feel things I thought I had buried with Adra.
But I can’t say any of that. I don’t even want to admit it to myself. In the last two weeks, things have changed. Accelerated.
So, instead, I shrug and say, “Of course. But if they applied to a mission, I would disclose them. As it is my duty.”
Her mouth falls open, and for a second, I think she might tell me. Then, to my surprise, she laughs—a real, genuine laugh that makes the corners of her eyes crinkle.
“You’re an ass,” she says, shaking her head.
“Maybe,” I admit. “But I’m not wrong.”
She sighs, the laughter fading but leaving a hint of warmth in her eyes. “I don’t want to tell you yet. But I’ll eat.”
“You don’t know how happy that makes me,” I murmur.
As she picks up the plate, and I let the silence settle between us again. This time, it feels less empty, more... companionable. I watch her out of the corner of my eye, noting the way the firelight softens the angles of her face.
Later, when the fire has burned low and she yawns, stretching her long neck, I clearmy throat.
“How about a deal?”
She raises one red eyebrow. “Go on.”
“I won’t tie you up if you tell me why it causes you such panic,” I drawl.
She stiffens. “Not yet.”
I sigh. “Then we will proceed out of safety.”
She scrambles to her feet, stepping back, but she’s too slow. I catch her wrist, careful not to grip too hard, but firm enough that she knows I won’t back down.
“Vann,” she whispers, her voice shaking.
I hesitate for only a breath. “Just tell me and I will bind you with nothing more than my arms.”