Then the hour strikes six, and one by one, the spell-lights bob to life above my head. The room is bathed in warmth.
Today is the Mating Journey.
Today I might actually meet someone.
That single, dangerous flicker of hope sends my thoughts spinning, weaving visions too beautiful to bear—a mating ceremony beneath a lush, golden canopy, the sound of crashing waves mixing with the scent of salty pine. A home, a loom by the window, the echoof a child’s laughter chasing their sibling too close to the hearth. A man’s deep chuckle, and music winding through the air.
It’s the kind of dream that hurts. Some things are so beautiful that they only serve as a reminder of what is missing. Like the ache left behind after a song ends or the scent of smoke clinging to an empty fire pit.
I rip myself from the tangled threads of the thought before they can weave more pain.
Maybe nothing will happen.
I throw back the blanket and plant my bare feet on the cold, flat rug Fira had gifted me. Another deep breath, and I’m on my feet, reaching past my scrolls for the gilded hairbrush and the collection of crystals by my bedside.
I tap each one, tracing their meanings in my mind. Amethyst—for deep sleep. Yellow Jasper—for creativity. Jade—for… hope. Jade has always been my favorite.
I have no magic, but I can feel the stones as well as any enduar thanks to my Fuegorra. This one… this one makes me feel whole. Like it holds some unseen vein of warmth, something eager to absorb the ache inside me.
I pick it up, squeezing it tightly in my palm, trying to patch up the hole in my heart. By the time I reach my polished metal mirror, I set it down, feeling lighter until I see my reflection and remember finding myself in the nightgown.
A shudder crawls up my spine.
It’s over now, Arlet. And anyone who knows is worried about you—not what you could have done. You are all right.
Still, many of the sweet feelings inside of me evaporate. I tear my fingers through my hair, undoing the silly plaits I’d woven before bed. Women with a male mate almost never braid or unbraid their own hair. It’s a sacred task, meant for their partner.
But when he’d helped me write in my scroll, I’d been so at ease.
I want to be his friend.
My cheeks heat. Just be his friend?
When he’d grabbed my wrist, a thrill shot through me. How long had it been since I feltthat? Vann wasn’t someone I’d considered aromantic option in the past, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss closeness.
I brush my hair into a tight, neat bun, my hands moving on their own, letting my mind wander far from babies and mates and the king’s advisor.
In my closet hangs the loose, stylish gown in red with orange beads I’d pulled out the night before. Beneath it are soft slippers, with a few jewels set on the table near the soiled clothes bin.
First, I start with powdered cosmetics to dust over my skin, covering the speckles on my nose, cheeks, forehead, chin, and shoulders. Then I pull on the gown, tying it to compliment my figure. Layer by layer, I build myself back up.
But a shadow lingers in the corners of my mind. I can’t help it—I’m a worrier.
After heading downstairs, I grab the Mating Journey scroll from the desk near my door and step outside, feeling the cool air against my flushed skin. A part of me expects Vann to appear with a big smile like the one he’d worn last night.
There is no one waiting outside and I tuck a loose curl behind my hair.
No matter. We’re all busy.
He said he might go to the Mating Journey as well. Maybe I’ll see him there, though definitely out of duty. He doesn’t want anyone. He’d said so himself.
Gripping the scroll tighter, I walk down the path between the houses in the council district. The path widens as I pass the palace, heading over a bridge that will take me to the area of Enduvida where the forges are.
Near the forges, there are a series of tunnels. The third leads down to where the mating ceremony is to take place. Hand woven and painted banners are hung up, and crystals decorate the entrance.
Several groups of people have already arrived, many coming from the residential district inside of the massive cavern, and several others heading down from tunnel six, which leads to the outdoor settlement.
Most people walk in Enduvida, but there are a fewglacialmaras—long, floating serpent-like creatures with razor sharp tails and eyeless faces that enduares use as mounts. Some humans like to call them ‘crystal wraiths.’