A home we built together, far from war and pain, with a fire that never goes cold. A child,our child, with blue skin and my dark eyes, gripping Vann’s finger and giggling, babbling sounds that mean nothing and everything. I see him holding them the way he holds his weapons—as if they were both precious and powerful. I see laughter shared between us, quiet moments of warmth, safety. We could have had a love that would have been unbreakable.
I see a future that is now destroyed because he chose someone else. He gave his heart away before he ever met me, before he ever touched me, before he ever let me believe there could be something more.
He didn’t stop me.
But helet mebelieve. Let me trust him.
My breath shudders, my hands shaking as I curl them into fists. I let him heal the wounds on my body, let his touch chaseaway the pain.
And now, he is the one who carves apart my soul. This is betrayal. This is the undoing of everything I thought I could be.
“It is in their nature to deceive humans. You should protect yourself, child. He won’t protect you."
She was both wrong and right. Physically, he had saved me—many times. He’d paid dearly for some of those encounters. I think of the way he helped me open up. He’d been there, saving me from my own emotions. He’d brought me here to save me from myself.
And along the way, he had asked for total, utter honesty without returning it. It almost doesn’t make sense—which is what scares me the most. If he had lied to me about something so big, then what else had he lied about?
The realization sinks into my ribs, sharp and unforgiving. I close my eyes, swallowing down the ache in my throat.
And I... I gave him everything.
If I return, I will always know what he did and what he hid from me. Like every man before him, he made promises, but when it came time to keep them—he chose to lie. He chose someone else.
Vannchose someone else.
And now, I have to make my own choice.
When I look down, I see my ankle. The curse mark is still there, a black snake burned into my lightly tanned skin.
The words of King Arion echo in my mind. I hear his promise to come for me, to destroy everything I’ve ever known. That threat won’t go away, even if the curse mark fades in the morning.
And even being Vann’s mate? He cannot protect me from that.
Arion had also offered peace in exchange for me. Lord Lothar had confirmed it was a binding political contract. Mrath would be upset, but they could smooth over that when the time came.
I think of all of my work. My position, the school, the children, the fabric… someone could pick up where I left off.
And then I think of that awful night spent in Zlosa, bound to my bed. The ache in my womb that has followed me for the last decade.
The childbearing aspect will be a problem. I don’t have immediate solutions. Maybe, there will be a fix I haven’t allowed myself to consider yet. Or maybe, Arion will do as I thought, and dispose of me.
But amaybeis better than adefinitely.
If I go back to Enduvida with Vann, then the elves will follow us, as they did here—as they tried to do in Dragon’s Reach—and they will burn the city.
How can I stay with Vann, knowing what he’s done, and bear the weight of souls lost in my name?
I know what it is to kill. I know what it is to be powerless.
So I will choose.
If I cannot give my love to my mate, who is supposed to be my perfect partner, I will give it to others who depend on me in Enduvida.
They still deserve the bright, beautiful future I had hoped for in myself.
I wipe my face with the back of my hand, inhaling sharply. I turn to the old woman, my voice steady, even though my heart has been ripped open.
“I need to go back outside,” I say, firm and resolute.