“The elves look at us like we are brutes. I don’t care for the new king, but Rholker insists he needs the alliance. If I were king, I’d kill them all, alongside those damned trolls. We giants don’t need allies, we need to expand.”
The words tumble out of him, and I try to breathe evenly.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
My shoulders tense and shivers run over my arms. “Forgive me, Eneko. I am merely sad to see you leave again. Especially so soon after we were reunited.”
He sighs. "I cannot bring you. I already asked."
I relax. "I will miss you. May I ask how long you will be gone for?"
He grunts. "Two weeks. And I leave soon."
"How soon is soon?"
"In the morning," he says.
I force myself to stroke up his arm. "That is soon."
He nods under my hand. "Killing your people isn't enough, you know. The others, they are too stubborn—don't accept their fate. Not like you. You are the best of them."
Silence, and then he whispers, “I missed you.”
I listen to the words, humming my agreement as I pet him like a dog.
"You are a kind foreman. You think of your men. It is a shame they do not return your favor."
Like this, stripped of his pomp, I hate him more. I hate his weakness. If the world saw him now, they would see him for the pathetic, leashed pup that he is.
"Stay until I fall asleep," he says, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me close. "I promise to give you a proper rut when I return."
Godsdamnit. I need to get out of here.
I say nothing; I just lay next to him, tracing his arms and giving him the comfort he needs to sleep. Once he begins to snore, I extricate myself from him and push away.
**End of Trigger Warning**
I grab my clothing, deciding to wrap my cloak around me instead of getting fully dressed. I can survive the short walk to my room. Only then do I notice some of his seed on my clothing and flinch.
Grabbing the area of fabric between my thumb and finger, I hold it off my skin.
With one hand pressed to my mouth, I rub it against one of the chairs. I close my eyes, trying to breathe deeply, and slip away.
Even after it’s wiped off, the feel of it clings to my skin. It lingers like a ghost when the damp fabric brushes over my belly.
When I touch the door handle, my hands burn from what I’ve done. I see Eneko’s face over and over, wanting me.
If I could peel away the areas of me he touched, I would.
I hurry out of the damned room and start to run. When I leave the cabin, the cold air lambasts my burning skin.
Kneeling, I grab a handful of snow and press it to my feverish cheeks. It burns, but then the sharp pain is replaced with… nothing.
Numbness.
I use the gritty powder to scrub my mouth clean of Eneko. I rub until my lips and tongue feel raw.
Only then do I stand and walk to the backyard.