An ache blooms in my chest as I watch her leave. It doesn't matter that she glares daggers at me; I hurt for something I never had. My womb was once full, but my arms have long since been empty.
"Wait here," Eneko says, addressing me directly. "I must speak with the king, and then I will return."
I can't say that it's normal for the king to stop his party-goers mid-festival, but any information is good information as far as I'm concerned. I let out a huff of a laugh and pour myself another glass of wine. This should be the... third? No, fourth.
The rest of the foremen filter out the room, and I tip my head back. The men all leave behind women like me, dressed in bright colors and accessorized with wine glasses. One comfort woman catches my eye, and I raise my goblet to her, but she shakes her head and looks away.
I sigh.
"Tough crowd," a voice says to my left.
I turn and see Alisa, one of my allies, occupying the seat next to mine. Her brown hair is graying at the root, but she has a pretty round face and rosy cheeks.
“Gods. It’s good to see you! Where have you been?” I slur, slightly. “Neither you nor Daria have been at thecesto de lavado?1to wash clothes with me.”
“Sorry, love. I wash on Thursdays now. And Daria and I have missed you, too,” she says, grabbing the bottle from the table and trying to pour the glass, only to find it mostly empty. She frowns.
"You're anticipating a nasty rut tonight, then?"
I look at her and cast her a crooked smile. "Eneko isn't ever gentle."
"Neither is Forik."
Something about the way she says that makes me sit up straighter.
“Did he make you bleed again?” I ask as if this were a normal conversation. Old friends, and all that.
She winces, but then she nods. “You certainly are drunk tonight.”
“A friend showed me a bush with pale blue flowers. Boil it—it will help you heal,” I say.
Alisa smiles. “Thank you. That’s… It’s kind of you to think of me.”
I don't respond.
“So,” she starts. “Can I ask where you went?”
I sigh deeply, sipping more wine. “I think you know.”
Guilt pricks at my chest.
I look at the woman. Why did I pick Abi and Paoli over them?
They were younger than me. Newer to this life. They were hopeful in a way Alisa and Daria have lost, just like me.
“Perhaps I should try to switch the washing days so Daria and I can meet with you.”
But maybe I was wrong.
“That would be a good idea,” I respond, turning back to the ballroom.
While the families of the foremen have left, many noble couples remain. Even still, there’s an imbalance in the ratio of men to women. It isn't long before dedicated,loyalhusbands start casting glances our way. Every minute that passes makes me feel more anxious for Eneko’s return.
Giant Lords don't want us for their homes, but that doesn't stop them from wanting a taste. A touch here or a grab there.
All's fair in the name of fun.
Finally, one breaks away, walking toward us with a purposeful swagger that tightens my chest.