I had known that this would happen upon returning. Normally, I would do it without flinching, but a part of me hesitates. A taste of freedom soured my reality.
Foolish, foolish woman.
Stepping into the early morning, the brisk chill of the air greets me like a rough slap in the face.
A new message sits in the snow. All of the dozens of rocks and sticks add up to say that he would meet me. It also says, "Be well."
My foot hovers to kick the words away—half furious with him for leaving a kind message. But I pause.
Be well.
No one thought about what I needed. Before Estela and her kindness, I built relationships with others, not the other wayaround. With Abi, Paoli, Daria, and Alisa, I gossiped and shared secrets about our masters. I knew their dreams and thoughts, but they never knew mine. They didn't even know about Thea or Wren.
And I sure as hell never told Ra'Sa. He saw the markings from the pregnancy and thankfully didn't recognize them. He'll know soon enough when it's time to escape though.
My mind turns in circles. I was supposed to seduce him before we got to Zlosa, and that did not go according to plan. Instead, he cared for me.
And now... I will have to see him after spending the night with Eneko. Not that it matters.
"You're a whore," my mother's voice echoes.
I push it away.
But as I walk by with the buckets towards the well, I leave Ra’Sa’s message on the ground. I can’t bring myself to erase it.
"Be well," I whisper to myself.
A faint ghost of a memory whispers back to me, "You are strong. You are fierce. You are capable.”
Damn. It. All.
Why did he have to be so gentle?
I'll have to haul the laundry bags to the river with Daria and Alisa. Fortunately, I’ll be able to hear the latest news from them.
Just as I pull the bucket back up, there's a faint burning along my wound, and I hear the sound of small giant feet and laughter. When I turn my head, I see Eneko's eldest son, Relmos, and his younger son, Urdort.
They run at high speed around the outside of the house, utterly ignoring me, and push onward through the trees. They are still small enough to walk between the elms and evergreens, but I resist the urge to call after them when they nearly run head-first into one of the branches.
Good choice, because seconds later, Hibsej's voice fills the silence. "Slow down! You're to come with your father tonight. I don't want you bruised and cut for the king!"
I tense.“Good morning, Mistress Hibsej.”
For the past three years, the feasts have always been the same. We all go together and enjoy the meal, and then Hibsej and her sons return to the house while I stay at Eneko's side to be leered at and pinched.
“Here’s your food," Hibsej's rough voice bites.
Her red-painted scars stand out from her pale skin, and they almost look like fresh burns. Her chestnut brown hair has been arranged at the top of her head, and gentle curls fall around her face.
Under everything, I pity her. I’ve never truly been able to hate her because… well, she’s a good mother—the kind of mother I’ve always wanted to be.
I pull the bucket out of the well and take the plate, mumbling a soft thanks.
She rolls her eyes but doesn't leave.
I lean against the barrier and look down at the small plate with cheese, bread, and berries. I’m surprised by the cheese—it’s a delicacy—but my eyes narrow at the bright red balls.
Bayas agridulces.Poisonous to humans.