A pang of guilt pricks my chest, and I let her lie atop me as her eyelids droop.
“How much have you been sleeping lately?” I whisper, stroking behind her ears.
Hibsej would be furious if she found her in my room—animal should piss and shit outside—but I hardly have the strength to push my wolf away. Eneko doesn’t do morning visits, so we’ll have at least a few more hours of peace.
I’ll move her as soon as I can stand again.
Soft, deep breaths come from her mouth, and I look out the window. The sun is barely peeking over the trees, and my room is cold.
A weight sinks down on me. I hate being back in this room. It was added after the cabin was built for a newlywed couple looking forward to a lifetime of love.
Well, as much love as giants can conceive of.
Hibsej and Eneko had been married over a decade when she got pregnant with her oldest son, Relmos. Eneko more or less tended to his wife during the pregnancy, and a son was born. Strong. Healthy. Sadly, his mother had been left to suffer on bed rest.
It took less than a week after her birth for Eneko to call in a whole troop of slaves and start building this small, drafty living space—or so she'd told me the first few days I'd come here.
She told me that she begged Eneko not to petition the Second Prince for a comfort woman, and he obliged for a time.
Then she gave birth to Urdort.
I arrived on the day of his birth, a little over three years ago. A handpicked present: a woman to fuck under the consent of the prince. Hated by humans and giants alike.
Despite this room’s sad story, it offered more protection from the elements than traditional slave dens, and the walls connecting to the house were thick enough not to have to listen to their every movement. I was slow to complain the first year.
But this life wore down on me, like grains of sand rubbed over rust.
When I’m not called to the main house to whore, I do Hibsej’s bidding. I have been paraded around in front of slaves, humiliated, and have endlessly washed every scrap of fabric in that house, from the bedding to the undergarments. I did it all while concealing the anger growing in my heart.
It's strange how physical proximity to a location can mold your whole personality. When Estela told me about the caves, not only did I see a better life for my family, I saw an escape from what I was.
It worked—for a few days. But now I am fully entrenched in the same place that turned me into a smiling viper.
Coco’s head is heavy against my legs, but I feel more awake.
I take a deep breath and push up to a sitting position. The place where the knife sliced open my flesh stings in pain. Much worse than when I first woke.
My hand flies to the hot, puffy skin. It’s likely irritated from walking. I wince, take a deep breath, and look up at the ceiling.
Coco awakens as I bunch the fabric of my dress. She watches as I pull it up until my stomach and wound are exposed.
I bite my lip and feel around the packed leaves that Ra’Sa left. I can almost hear his voice telling me to leave it be—can almost feel his fingers against my skin.
For only a minute, I allow myself to luxuriate in the memory of him carrying me across the yards. I think of how quicklyhe moved and how careful he was not to jostle me. Like I am precious to him, even after our fight.
I squeeze my eyes shut. This has turned into such a mess.
You draw me in, then push me away.
Something hot and indignant sparks in my chest. What the hell does he know about attraction and want?
I hope he finds a mate while here, one ready to give him the family he so desperately wants, and I can forget ever wanting him in the first place.
Coco whines again as I take another deep breath and peel away the herbs. I suck in a sharp hiss, and she tries to lick me.
“Coco, no.Bad.”
She looks up at me with large eyes, and I sigh.