My mind is a dark, filthy place for me alone. There's something painful and unnerving about being so utterly seen and knowing that the other person isn't interested in running away.
I told him where I'd been, and instead, he kissed me.
He held me tight as if letting me go would kill him. He tucked me into his arms as if I was something to be treasured.
He’s never had sex, and yet he fucking ravaged my lips. I still can taste him.
For the first time being with a man, I felt… safe.
Gods. Fucking. Damnit.
Bad, Melisa.Bad.
I press my hand to my forehead to stop the raging whirlwind in my mind. When it doesn't work, I grasp onto my thin dress, looking at the cabin from the trees. I can't see into the master bedroom, but that’s for the best.
I stop, leaning against a tree as my throat closes up.
With the world gone quiet, I still feel the imprint of both men. One very welcome, the other not, but both set against the backdrop of the cut on my arm.
Movement from my window draws my attention. All of the lights have been snuffed out except for one.
I didn’t have a light on in my room when I left. Hibsej had thrown water over the fireplace. A crashing sound can be heard from here, and a slice of chestnut curls cuts into view through the window.
Mierda.?2
I shove off the tree and run to the door. I grasp onto the handle, bracing myself, and push inside.
Everything is entirely torn apart. Clothes are strewn about, and my meager furniture is overturned. The mattress has been yanked off the bed, revealing where I hid the stone dagger Ra'Sa made me and the crystal that I tried to give to Thea and Wren. Their birthday is tomorrow.
Hibsej stands beside the lamp she's brought. She holds the dagger and the crystal,stares at me like she's never seen anything more awful.
"What the hell are these?" she demands, thrusting them forward. "Who did you steal these from?"
My mouth parts.
“T-they were a gift," I stammer, my chest seizing.
If she finds out where the knife came from, she'll tell the guards, and they'll kill Ra'Sa. There's no way I'll be able to get back to Enduvida, and I will be stuck here for the rest of my life.
Ra'Sa will be dead.
My heart starts to rip itself in half at the thought.
“Why are you here?”
“You left a shoe in my room. I had to walk in and find it near my bed, so I came to give it back to you and found you gone.”
She kicks a chair.
“Is one man not enough for you? Are you sleeping with some other lord?" she rages. "Were you planning to kill me? Or Eneko?"
I shake my head, opening my mouth but only being able to choke.
"Speak!" she barks.
"I-I would never," I stammer.
She narrows her eyes. "Humans are getting ideas about freedom."