He nods slowly. “Has Estela been training with the other slaves?”
“I am not sure. She is starting to fit in—to warm to the idea of this life. If I push too hard, I think she will start fighting again. Dyrn’s death hurt her.” Sama stirs in my arms, and I reach down to stick my finger in his mouth. My digit is a poor substitute for a breast, but he doesn’t seem to mind in his sleep.
Vann leans back, his eyes scanning my face. “I watched her use the crystal. She thought she was healing him, but the crystal was easing him into his death.”
My mouth goes dry and I piece together her words about the death. “Godsdamn it all. When we spoke, she was subdued because of guilt.”
Vann clucks his tongue. “It is convenient that you can correct such thoughts. Perhaps next week at the Festival?”
I groan. “Vann, celebrating when everything is still so uncertain is not one of your better ideas. Getting drunk surrounded by bloodthirsty creatures is not prudent. It is downright idiotic. Just think of my little game with the giants.”
Vann adjusts a bandage, his gaze intense. "Teo, hear me out. The Festival is a time of celebration for love. We have two new mated pairs—is that not reason to be grateful to Grutabela and Endu? In the last month, we have lost Mele, Irsh, Tirin, and Dyrn. We are mourning and terrified. Even with the treaty, no one feels safe. It can help raise our spirits after such a difficult time and remind people to hope for a brighter future. It's not just about inebriation.”
I rub a hand over my face as the weariness sets in. Having a sleeping babe in my arms reminds me that I haven’t slept well in days. "Fine. But we need to have the tunnel sorted before then."
Vann nods, a hint of a smile on his face. "It is good we still have an entire week. Just think of your pretty mate wearing something appealing for you. You will have an apt reward."
I scowl at him. "Do not assume I can’t kill you with a babe in my hands."
He raises an eyebrow. "See what I mean? The humans are trouble."
I bristle at his words, and lean forward to inspect his dressings. “You look well taken care of. I am going to take a walk around thelumikapgarden.”
He smiles. “Yes, let me sleep while you babysit.”
My tail whips out and grazes his arm. He laughs as I leave his home.
Chapter26
Topaz
ESTELA
Dyrn’s ceremony hurt like falling from a tree. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move. When they placed me next to Teo, I barely looked at him.
I’d hardly known Dyrn, but I still wept when they read the story of Vidalena. These people are surrounded by a world far more magical than the forests where I grew up—and they have twice the ability to tear out my heart.
As I sit in my room, my mind wanders. My life had been one-note for so long, and now I am trapped in a symphony of sound, magic, and whatever I feel for the king.
Wrong. I was so very wrong about everything. It was the grace of the sweetest gods that I had been brought to the Enduares from the giants, and I had ruined it all by trying to escape.
When my eyes land on the table that held my herbs, I stand up. Guilt for what I had done, using those plants to hurt, and then paying the price in shame and a man’s life eats away at me, leaving me hollow and numb. Like I am made of wood.
I thought I could heal him with magic I didn’t understand. And then I watched the life fade from his eyes. Foolish and selfish. That was what I was.
When Teo had told me he’d killed slaves… I should have felt something. But all I could think about was how I’d turned a blind eye to so many hurting to protect myself and Mikal. I’d cared for Arlet the best I could, but now she pulls away from me in a testament to my subpar friendship.
While sinking to the ground, I press the heels of my hands to my eyes. There’s an ache just behind my eyes that refuses to relent. It pounds and pounds.
And while my mind races, I think of Teo again. First, I turn off all of the lights, trying to find a refuge. When that doesn’t work, I start to pace.
Cautiously, I open the door to my chamber, the weight of anticipation and uncertainty heavy upon my chest. The room's darkness spills forth into the corridor, melding with the dim, flickering spell lights above my head.
Stepping out, I allow my senses to sharpen and hone in on my surroundings. Every sound, every whisper of air, every movement—all are magnified as I enter the world I have spent the last month trapped in.
My eyes, accustomed to the darkness, slowly pick apart the gloom before me. I scan the palace for the Enduares, my breathing slow and measured.
But there is only silence. So I continue down the hallway, out of the palace, and to the bridge that I’d once feared. I walk to the mushroom house to check on my plants when I catch a glimpse of the last person I’d expected walking around. My heart leaps into my throat, a wave of adrenaline coursing through me as I prepare myself for whatever may come.