My eyes remain locked on the princess while I go through the story, from the life debt to her father’s order to kill her. When I come to the part where I decided I wouldn’t kill her, Helena flinches.
That minuscule movement destroys the tiny pieces still left of my heart. I want to go to her, hold her. But I can’t comfort her.
So, instead, I just push through the story as quickly as I can. When I am done, I turn to the King and say, “And then your men picked me up.”
For a very long moment, the only sound in the room is breathing. My heart is hammering in my too-tight chest as Helena slowly comes closer.
“Are you telling the truth, Erik?” she whispers, her pink eyes locked onto mine. I see a flicker of compassion in them, and something like hope flutters to life in my chest.
I hold her gaze as I say, “I am.”
She breathes, her words little more than air. “You knew he would send his Elite after you, and you still decided to let me go?”
I nod, my chest heavy as I pull up my bound hands. “Helena, you are… important. To your kingdom, to the world. To me. I swear, I was just stringing him along until I could get you safely to shore. I had planned on telling you, but...”
She sighs, rubbing a hand on her face. “But I found the messages.”
“Yes.”
“I may have overreacted just a touch.” She winces.
My brows raise. “Just a touch? You stabbed my phone multiple times and tried to kill me.”
A laugh boomed from behind us. A quick glance at the King confirms the laughter came from him. He covers his mouth with his fist, his eyes sparkling with mirth.
Phaedra chuckles, her wings fluttering behind her as she places a hand on Helena’s shoulder. “Overreactions are a family trait, I think,” she says to no one.
“I agree,” the King says before turning to the princess. “I am glad you made it here in one piece, Helena.”
Helena’s lips twitch as she tilts her head towards the Daemon King. “Thank you, Uncle.” And then she rolls over to me. “Erik?”
My name is a prayer and a plea on her lips. My breath catches in my throat, and for a moment, I don’t know what she will do.
Her eyes sweep over me, starting from my knees and rising to my face. The moment our gazes meet, everything else seems to fade away. Every movement of her face, every catch of her breath, every twitch of her mouth means something.
“Yes, Princess?” I breathe. It’s a plea that I feel in the very depths of my soul.
Those incredible lips open as she reaches down and brushes my hands with hers. “You were willing to die for me?” she asks. Her astonishing voice is barely a whisper.
“I still am,” I murmur, my voice gravelly.
A cough comes from behind us, destroying the moment. Helena’s head snaps up. “What do you plan to do with him, Uncle?”
The Daemon King purses his lips, the light catching off the black crown resting on his forehead. He shrugs, staring at my still-kneeling form on the floor. “What we had planned doesn’t matter anymore. What doyouwant us to do with him?”
That’s the real question. My head begins to pound as Helena looks back at me. For so long, she’s been forced to follow others. And now that she's in control, I have a feeling that I know what she’ll say.
She and I both know I’m not good enough for her. I’m not good at all. The dark stains on my soul are as black as a starless night. I’m a very, very bad person. Not only is she nothing like me, but Helena is the Crown Princess of the Ice Mer. A brutal race that values violence above all else.
I know the kinds of laws she follows.
Steeling myself for the inevitable rejection and forthcoming death sentence, I drop my eyes to the floor.
This is it. She’ll seal my fate, and that will be the end of me.
A strange sense of resignation fills me. My life will finally be over. Three decades of not being enough. Of just bobbing along the currents of life, trying to do good while knowing I could never be noble. Numbness fills me.
I’m sure they have heavy penalties for treason here in the Gates of Hell.