I can win this now.
But then I look up and see Anders' face. He looks defeated. This is the price of winning the war. I don’t really know how much the crew saw of the sensual bite, but I refuse to destroy Erik’s relationship with his men. It seems like it might be the one good thing he has in his life.
Unrolling my body, I lie flat against the ground. I let the crew see my feigned weakness and heaving breaths.
Erik brings himself to his knees and then stands. He stares down at me with so much fire in his gaze, I fear actual flames have begun to lick their way over my skin.
He presses his foot onto my chest and I can’t help the jerking motion with which my hand flies up and grasps his ankle. My breath catches as I meet his eyes.
The crowd cheers, happy to see their beloved captain defeat the invading female.
My hand lingers, my fingers brushing his leg hair lightly for a moment. His eyes don’t leave mine as he spits out, low and venomous, so only I can hear, “How dare you?”
My legs shift uncomfortably in the aftermath of being so near to him. I smile and let my hand fall away.
17
Fight Me
ERIK
Red spots fill my vision as thick and heavy rage rolls through me. I stare at Helena through narrow eyes and clench my teeth. It takes everything I have not to lunge at her and shake her shoulders until her teeth chatter. Force her to fight me again. Tell her I don’t accept her defeat.
Instead, I shove down my anger and bite my tongue while enduring slaps of encouragement on my bare back from my men. I listen to the scores of laughter and jeers of male superiority that come from them as they dismantle the ring and get back to work. The crew is jubilant, as though they had beaten Helena themselves.
Happiness is the godsdamned furthest thing I’m feeling, despite glimpsing it this morning with Helena in my bed and my book, nestled next to her. Such a strange, fleeting emotion.
All I can think about is when Jean Luc had informed me the men would be doing their PT like they always did during this time of the month. I had texted Helena, thinking she would respond right away.
When no message came through, I had resigned myself to working in my office when I overheard one of my sailors talking about the “Mer-bitch”. Emerging from my office, I slammed the door shut behind me.
“What has Maddie done, Whitehall?” my voice had been eerily calm.
The sailor had taken one look at my face and tried to back-pedal his comments. “She is fighting the men above deck, Captain.”
I ignored how he cradled his arm and the blood leaked from his nose because the knowledge that Helena was above deck had been a beacon, summoning me nearer. When I first saw her standing by the side of the ring, a surge of anger mixed with worry so potent ran through me that I had to physically hold onto the railings to stop myself from pulling her back to our room. What in the gods’ names had she been thinking, taking on my crew? They could have killed her.
Then I watched her beat the shit out of one man, then the next. It was... unexpected. Another layer was peeling back from Helena, and she was showing more of herself to me than she ever had before.
I learned something about her today, watching her fight in the ring. There was anger deep within her that called to me. It resonated with the decades-old rage that lived within me. One that I hid from the world. We recognized each other at that moment, and anger bound us together in a way few could understand.
Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her as she fought. She might have been the most aggravating woman I’d ever had the displeasure of meeting, but one thing became clear on the deck of my ship today. She was strong. Strategic.
I had ripped off my shirt and wrapped my hands. Ihadto know what it was like to have her sole attention focused on me. More than that, I wanted to see who would come out on top. To feel her skin once more. I wanted to know whether this tension was just in my head or if she felt it, too. And, for Fortuna’s sake, static seemed to crackle between us every time we touched. I was surprised the entire ship hadn’t caught on fire. The sun spotlighted her before me, gilding her entire form like pure gold as she moved in tune to the rhythm of my heart.
And then the illusion vanished. She lost to meon purpose. The very second I realized what she had done, it was like someone had dumped a bucket of seawater on my head. Howdareshe?
“Captain?” Anders’ voice breaks through the fog of my anger. I'm still standing on the deck, staring at nothing. Emptiness takes over, pulling me from the reverie.
“Yes?” I say. My voice is curt and sharp, and I don’t do anything to mask my anger.
The sailor shifts on his feet, holding my FaePhone between two fingers like it is going to burn him. I had shoved it at him before the fight. “I thought you might want to know that a message came in for you while you were... indisposed.”
For the love of the gods. Is it Helena?
“Why the hell are you looking at my messages?”
Anders’ brows raise to the top of his head. The sight would be comical if I wasn’t in such a pissy mood. “I-I just,” he stutters.