There’s only one real answer to that question. And it came well before yesterday.
The weight of what exactly this means settles on me, my stomach cramping as I bend in half. My entire body aches as I lay back on the pillows, rubbing my temples and wishing I could erase the last day of my life. Between Conrad and Helena, things have really gone to hell in a handbasket.
As I contemplate ways to travel back in time, a hesitant knock comes on the door.
“Who is it?” I say. Damn. My voice sounds weak to my own ears, my throat raspy as I force the words out.
“It’s me, Captain. I’ve brought you some food.” Jean Luc’s voice is hesitant, which isn’t a surprise. I’m not known around the ship for being a morning person. Nonetheless, the prospect of food intrigues me.
“Come in,” I reply rather eagerly. I pull the dark blue comforter around my hips as I settle into a seated position before donning a black sweater to ward off the chill.
The knob twists, and true to his word, the sailor is standing with a tray laden with a steaming bowl and something that looks like bread. My stomach grumbles at the sight, my mouth salivating. Jean Luc hurries over and places the tray on my nightstand. I was right- he even brought me a freshly baked baguette.
“Thank you, Jean Luc.”
He nods but doesn’t move from his spot by my bed. Instead, the sailor stands with his hands clasped in front of him, his thumbs twisting together. A beat passes before I realize he wants something.
I narrow my eyes, “Anything else, sailor?”
The man shifts from one foot to the other before opening his mouth. “It’s the lady, sir,” he says.
Groaning, I bang my head against the headboard, shutting my eyes against the pain. “Of course it is. Can it wait?” Peeking open one eye, I see Jean Luc pursing his lips and shaking his head. I sigh, running a hand through my hair. “Go ahead. What do you want to say?”
“We all know you’re a strong leader, Captain Erik. Fair and respectful, and of course, we would never question you. I would never dare to tell you how to run your ship,” he starts.
I fight the urge to roll my eyes at his flattery. Of course, I’m fair. It’s how I’ve always lived, by the rules. That’s why I’m still here.
I wave a hand, “Go on.”
“Madeline wasn’t in good shape last night, sir. I thought you should know.”
I narrow my eyes. Since when is he on a first-name basis with Madel—I mean, Helena? My fists clench as I fight the desire to attack the man for his forwardness with the Princess. How dare he be so familiar with her? The only thing that stops me is that he doesn’t know who she is.
Conrad was the only other person who did, and now he’s dead. I’m sure many women will be mourning his passing. I won’t be. Not after what he was going to do. The thought of my former first mate sours my mood even further.
I growl, “Is that it?”
“Y-yes sir,” Jean Luc stammers.
“Good. Thank you. You may go.”
Jean Luc looks like he wants to say something else, but after he looks at my scowling face, he closes his mouth. The cook nods, walking backward out of the room before shutting the door behind him.
It’s official.
This day is not going to be a good one.
Sighing, I demolish the tray of food Jean Luc brought for me. If I have to deal with Helena, I might as well do it on a full stomach. The stew is delicious, filled with deep and fragrant spices. The fresh baguette is the proverbial cherry on top of this meal.
Half an hour later, my stomach is full. Ready to face the day, I’ve located a pair of gray sweatpants and pulled them on. My legs are wobbly, and every movement seems to drain me of more and more energy. It’s like I’m walking through thick mud, and moving even an inch feels like a mile. By the time I’ve pulled on a pair of running shoes, I need to sit back down on the bed and catch my breath.
At that point, I would’ve given anything to have some of the natural healing abilities of the Were shifters.
Considering this was my first time nearly drowning in the sea, and hopefully my last, I’ll file that knowledge away under ‘things I don’t need to know’ and continue with my life.
After having caught my breath, I stand. Holding onto the footboard, I wait until my legs feel sturdy before letting go. Taking a deep breath, I take one step, then the other. Everything seems to be working, so I head out of my room.
I knock on Helena’s door, trying to fight down the irrational irritation I feel. It’s not her fault I was given an impossible task, and it certainly isn’t her fault that she’s a good person. This would have been so much easier if she had been cruel. Leaning against the door jamb, I keep pounding until I hear a scuffle from the inside.