Exhaustion is tugging at me. I am so tired, and my heart pounds inside my chest. I lean all of my weight against Anders as we walk down the stairs. He lightly lays a towel across my shoulders. I hear the sliding door shut, sealing off the rain from the deck, and then feel my blood pumping through my veins. It warms me much better when I’m not fighting against the chilled ocean.
We approach the hall, and I lull against Jean Luc’s shoulder. When I realize where we are, I stiffen and remember that I’ve spent the last day and a half in Erik’s quarters. Ander’s and Jean Luc are speaking, but it is hard to keep up with precisely what’s being said as they fumble for the right key only to find the door still slightly ajar. There is a collective pause as the men holding Captain Erik draw their brows together.
“That’s odd,” one of them mutters.
No one looks at me as Anders crosses to the other side and opens my door. Just like that, I am wide awake. The too-fresh memories of what almost happened in that room assault me. The seawater in my stomach revolts.
My knees buckle, and I throw up all over the floor. Two of the men grunt in disgust, several of them side-stepping my mess. The sweet, acidic smell fills the air.
“Anders, help me,” Jean Luc starts, “You two, go get something to clean this. You okay, Maddie?”
I’m still looking at the ground, my arms cradling my head when I lift one hand and give a thumbs up.
“Be with you in a moment, dear,” the kind cook mumbles. “Let’s get Erik inside.”
“I’ll take care of Maddie,” Anders says.
“I’ve got it, just get the captain into bed and get rid of those clothes,” Jean Luc replies.
Erik’s door swings open further, and I know they will find me out. All the evidence of my stay is strewn over the room. They are going to be furious. Their kindness toward me will be spent.
Especially Jean Luc. He’ll know it was me.
My bowls are still stacked there, next to some of the clothes he gave me.
“What the hell is this?” Anders starts.
“Just move that stuff over there,” Jean Luc says.
Tears sting my eyes at my careless mistake. Now I will be locked in the room where…
I don’t have time to finish my thoughts when a warm hand rests on my back. “Maddie, I am going to get you clothes. Why don’t you go clean your face.” It’s Anders.
I crawl to the bathroom, using the doorknob to pull myself up and go inside.
Taking my time, I peel off my wet clothes and hang them beside the shower. When I step in, I meticulously scrub my skin, hair, and mouth.
I leave feeling stronger. There are new clothes tossed into the sink next to the door. I grab them and change. When I walk out, the men are almost done cleaning up the mess in the hallway.
Both of them smile at me before returning to their task, and Jean Luc stands outside the captain’s quarters. I catch him staring at the open door to my room.
“I know what happened with Conrad. I’m sorry,” he says, his eyes downcast.
Why isn’t he getting angry with me? Why isn’t anyone angry?I rub my eyes.
“I understand why you want to stay elsewhere, but you can’t be seen in the captain’s quarters. I would take your room, but I don’t think you’d like a cot in the kitchen.” I shake my head, and he laughs a bit. “What can I get you to make this place okay for you again?”
That question is… thoughtful. It takes me a moment to think of something. Then, I look around for something to help me illustrate my point. Seeing nothing, I take his hand and pull him into the room. I point to the blanket on my bed and make puffing motions as if to say I want something thicker, warmer, heavier.
He seems to understand because he walks back into the captain’s room and returns with one of his down comforters. I nod.
He hands it to me, grasping my hands. “You are safe now, Maddie. I will make sure of it.”
The gentleness in his voice makes me want to cry all over again. He helps me throw the luxurious, velvety comforter over my bed, and when he leaves, he hugs me.
“Everyone is thankful, you know. The crew can’t speak to you, but they are grateful for what you did.”
I nod in his arms.