I blink, shocked by how forward he is. I bite my lip, “Yes.” I do want it, even if I also want to cry and slap him.
The sound of clothes hitting the ground come from behind me, and my heart races so fast that I fear I might faint.
His long tan leg appears in my peripherals, and—thank the gods—he’s wearing his boxers. He lowers down, but instead of sitting, comes in front of me and balances on his knees.
“I have never regretted knowing you. I’ve behaved like a brute. I understand why you might feel that way. But you have ignited this spark...” he swallows. “You have ignited this spark of life inside of me. Your very presence in my life has taught me things I never knew were possible.”
He doesn’t touch me, and I bite my lip.
“Erik, those lines sound fine enough to be tucked away in your mind, memorized through repetition,” I say, forcing down the sensation of wanting to throw up. He has the audacity to look confused. “How many women have you been with before me?”
Understanding makes his eyes widen. “H-Helena, that’s not really important.”
“I beg to differ.”
“Do you trust me?” he asks.
“Yes.”No.
How do you get past the awkwardness that comes from seeing so much of someone’s demons? How can I get over my insecurities?
It’s as if he hears the thought as clearly as I do. “Don’t lie to me, please. Send me away if you don’t want me, Helena. If I never have anything more than the joy of your presence in my life, I will accept that. But please, Princess, don’t let any more lies or secrets come between us.”
Moments pass, and unbidden tears fall down my cheeks. He's spent so long being closed, aggressive... growly.
This new version of him is surprisingly gentle and soft. It makes my heart sing. “You hurt me, Erik. Gods, every part of me wants to forgive you… but it’s hard. I want you; want you to kiss me, to touch me, to teach me about romance, and to make me forget the lies. But I don’t know if that will work, and it is scratching my insides out. If I give you too much of myself, and then you walk away to someone else, I fear I might break. I would shatter into a million pieces. I have no desire to be a notch on your bedpost, a story only to be shared with your friends.”
Once the words are out into the world, I feel lighter still. Either Erik will know it all, and accept me anyway, or we will stop whatever this was before I lose too much.
But he doesn’t run, he doesn’t even look away. He draws nearer.
“Is this all right?” he asks. His face is near enough for his breath to tickle my lips, and my tail has slipped to the side to make space for… him.
I breathe, “Yes.”
He stays and takes my hands, bringing them out of the water and pressing them to his forehead. Water droplets cause lovely ripples in the bath. The dark curls in his chest glisten with the water, and his tattoos seem even more vibrant than they ever had on the ship.
“I don’t want to talk about other women. There have been few, and none of them meant even a fraction of what you do to me.” he admits as his eyes stay on the water, “But I promise Helena, I will spend the rest of the time I am near you trying to regain your trust.”
My heart soars, wanting to believe him, but my brain sinks like a stone. I give voice to the thoughts swimming around in my mind. “Erik, I don’t think I can make love to you… for my first time… feeling like this.”
He finally looks at me, his eyes dark. “Then allow me to work for it in kisses.”
I flush again, but this time from anger. “I know where kisses lead,” I snap. Conrad, Henrick, and the Ice Mer King all taught me the dangerous nature of men.
He raises his hand to silence me. “A kiss can just be a kiss. And lead nowhere else until you are ready. Please, let me kiss you, Helena. Let me wash away every memory of the horrors you’ve experienced, every bad thing to come between us. Let me show you something I am starting to realize with alarming clarity.”
Every cell in my body vibrates to the sound of his promises. Soon, my brain ceases to advise me at all. “What are you coming to realize?” I pant.
“That what I feel for you is rare. Though I have lived a shorter life, I can’t help but think we are somehow in the same place with our souls. I can recognize this, Helena,” he says. He takes a deep breath, raising his eyes to mine. I lurch back at the intensity I see within them. Dark storms swirl within his eyes as he says, “I love you.”
His words steal my breath, my thoughts, and my control. I launch forward, wrapping my arms around him, and sigh as our lips come together.
At last.
Our kisses are sweet, and he laughs. “Is this your way of returning my feelings?” he says as he lowers his mouth down my jaw and to my neck. One of his deft fingers hooks around the collar of my shirt and pulls down to slide his tongue against my skin.
I gasp and pull away. He stops immediately and respects the distance I’ve put between us.