When she finally pulls away, we’re both breathless. She looks ethereal there, like always, her features illuminated by the glow of the city lights below us, and it makes something catch deep in my chest. Her eyes open slowly as her perfect lips pull into a smile.
She’s fucking beautiful.
And I don’t hesitate for a moment when I tell her so.
Chapter Nineteen
LUCY
I’m having a moment.
I mean, I’m having the time of my life, I can’t lie, but I’m also having a moment.
I’m not particularly experienced in the matter of first kisses, but I’m pretty sure that was mind-blowing by anyone’s standards.
It was clear by the way Bram touched my arm in the restaurant that he’s a man who knows what he’s doing, but I didn’t feel an ounce of that in the way he kissed me. It was honest, tender– like we had all the time in the world. Like we were only at the start of the story. It was every romance novel dream I’ve ever had coming true all at once.
And it was hot as hell.
He’s looking at me now like he isn’t quite sure what his next move should be, and if I’m honest I don’t know either. I didn’t really have a plan beyond this– I was just exhausted by this crazy rollercoaster of a day. The idea of falling into bed sooner rather than later was so tempting that I had to suggest it.
Did I hope that he’d want to stay here? Definitely. I mean, what can I say? I’m obviously into him. But I don’t know what I expected to happen after that. I don’t judge people who jump directly to sex straight away, but it’s not really my thing.
Though, the way my body is buzzing right now, I’m not sure it got the memo.
‘I’ll kip here,’ he says, gesturing to my overstuffed sofa, and I know that’s the sensible option. I should kiss him goodnight and then get a good night’s sleep in my own bed, alone. That’s what Old Lucy would have done. But I’m a different Lucy now, irrevocably changed by the cut of Jon’s betrayal. By speaking my truth on a windswept hillside. By a kiss which hit like a meteor.
And New Lucy is sick of always doing the right thing. I’ve made the safe choice every single time, and it’s never got me any closer to what I really want. And what I really want right in this moment is to be close to the beautiful man in front of me.
‘Would you stay… with me?’ I ask, and I see his eyes burn with heat for a moment before he collects himself.
‘Luce, I…’ he starts, reaching a hand for my waist, and though he doesn’t finish his sentence, I can tell that he’s arguing with himself somewhere inside his head.
‘I don’t mean… y’know,’ I add quickly, and I see something wash over his face– something between disappointment and relief. It’s a feeling I can relate to in this moment.
One hand goes into his hair, tugging at the roots. ‘God, I want to,’ he says, earnest as hell, ‘but I don’t want to mess any of this up.’
I take a deep breath, tell him the whole truth. ‘It’s been a lot, today.’ There’s a shake in my voice, but I don’t break eye contact. ‘I just don’t want to be on my own tonight.’
His face changes again, softening into an expression so understanding that it makes my heart ache. ‘Of course,’ he says,and he reaches for me, pressing his lips to mine in a kiss that feels like a promise.
And I can’t help but smile, wondering how a man who looks so dangerous could make me feel so safe.
I left Bram perusing my book collection while I nipped to the bathroom, and ten minutes later I feel like a new woman. I quickly showered and brushed my teeth, then changed into the least dowdy pyjamas I could find, and now he’s taking his turn while I wait for him in bed.
There’s a buzz in my chest, a heady swirl of nervousness and excitement which should keep me awake, but the last few hours have been such a ride that it isn’t long before I feel my eyes tugging shut. I’m almost asleep when I feel him slipping into the other side of the bed. He pauses for a moment, like he’s not quite sure where the line is, before he shuffles up behind me and presses a kiss to the side of my jaw. I’m wide awake again in an instant, unashamedly breathing in the scent of him. He smells sweet, like spearmint and my lemon sherbet shower gel, with just the barest hint of something more masculine beneath it.
‘G’night Luce,’ he says softly, but there’s a rough edge to his voice that draws a line of heat down my body, and before I know it I’ve spun into his arms and I’m kissing him.
And this time I don’t hold back.
I feel tension grip him for a moment, like he’s unsure if he should be doing this, before he mutters something to himself. And then he’s right there with me, hands in my hair, chest flush with mine, kissing me like he’ll never get another chance. His lips part as I deepen the kiss, and when our tongues meet, the smallest of growls rushes out of him.
It’s a beautiful sound, rough and primal, and it makes whispers of heat ripple through me. It’s almost enough that I want to beg him to take me right there and then, but I know deep down that’s too far– too fast for me. But I can’t quite bring myself to stop, either. He’s addictive.
My hands find the gap between his boxers and the T-shirt he’s wearing and skate across his bare skin greedily, mapping out the contours of his body, the dips of his muscles, the hard balls of his nipple piercings. His skin’s smoother than I thought it would be and as cold as his hands, which I’ll probably think more about when I’m not quite so distracted. Right now, all I can focus on is how strangely refreshing that cool skin feels against the burn of mine. My mind skips back to when I watched him sleep that first morning at the annexe, and I try to mentally recreate his tattoos, frowning when I can’t.
He senses the change in my expression and pulls back, green eyes searching mine. ‘You ok?’ he asks, voice rough but eyes gentle.