“What happened?”
The moment of truth.
“They wanted to break the team,” he started, not mincing his words to the ex-Army soldier. “They sent them a video of me being executed, hoping they would make mistakes. They didn’t,but they couldn’t find me. Luckily, I was able to befriend one of the captors, who helped me to escape.”
His father nodded. “Well done. They’ve taught you well.”
Felix inhaled.In for a penny…“Uncle Frank.” Stephen raised his eyebrows in question. “Uncle Frank taught me well.”
Stephen stared at him for a long moment before he looked away, nodding slowly. “I should’ve expected it, really,” he murmured. “He would never have left us unarmed.”
Felix frowned. “Us?”
His father exhaled, sinking back into his chair. He waved his hand at the sofa, and Felix sat, his mind running through several possibilities for why his father looked sad. Sad. Where was that coming from? When was the last time Felix had seen his father so sad?
“Frank was…” He shook his head, rubbing his hand along his jaw. “Fanatical. Not in a bad way, but he was always adamant that we needed to be able to protect ourselves. We couldn’t rely on others. He was ten years older than me, as you know, but he taught me everything I needed to know to get into the Army and progress quickly. Some things I hadn’t wanted to learn, but I couldn’t say no to him. He was my brother, and I didn’t want to let him down.”
Felix listened with rapt attention. His father had rarely given much information about his childhood, especially his time with Uncle Frank, and he had never explained why.
“Eventually, though, I had to tell him no. I couldn’t live like that any longer. The constant vigilance, the mandatory denial of relationships. I met your mother and didn’t want to make her live that way. It wasn’t fair, she needed safety, structure. Frank stopped speaking to me until we had you. As you grew, he seemed to change. He seemed to be more level-headed, more reliable, less fanatical, and so when he asked to take you on adventures, I said yes. I asked myself, at the time, whether hischange of behaviour was true, and I managed to convince myself it was. Obviously, that wasn’t the best choice, and if I’d realised that, I never would’ve let you go. I’m sorry. It’s no way to live.”
Felix leaned his elbows on his knees and locked his hands together. “He told me not to tell you because you’d use me as a weapon, but instead, he did. I didn’t mind most of it. Some of it, though…” He swallowed, pushing down the memories of what he’d done to Maddox. “But it’s been handy. I’ve saved lives because of what he taught me.”
“I’m glad for that, but at what cost to you?” Stephen met his gaze. “I am sorry. I should’ve asked you more about what you did with him. Maybe I would’ve realised and stopped it before it got out of hand.”
Felix shook his head. “I’m the person I am today because of that. If he hadn’t shown me what I was capable of, I wouldn’t have been able to do what I do.” He paused. “However, it helps a little knowing you had a similar experience. Not that I would want it for you, but because it makes me feel less like I was singled out.” He swallowed again, looking down at his hands, and continued in a quieter voice, “Less like he saw something inside me that made him think I had it in me.”
Stephen stood and grabbed Felix, pulling him to his feet. He rested a hand on his nape and the other on his shoulder. Felix froze at the tears in his father’s eyes. “You were never like that. Never. He made you that way, and I will never forgive myself for letting you go through that, especially alone. You were a beautiful child, full of life, full of fun, and you have grown into an amazing man. I know I don’t say it enough, but I love you. Don’t ever think less of yourself.”
His voice was gruff, almost as if he was angry, but Felix could sense the emotion behind it. His father, known for his stoic, grumpy personality, was emotional and honest in that moment, and Felix wrapped his arms around him and held him, barelykeeping the tears at bay at the uncharacteristic show. Stephen tightened his hold on him for a long moment, and when they eventually pulled back, Felix noticed his mother in the doorway, tear tracks down her cheeks, her hands held against her mouth. Stephen glanced at her and motioned her forward. She came with halting steps, almost like she didn’t want to intervene. When she slid her arms around them both in a three-way hug, Stephen said, “I’m sorry, Ruby. I should’ve realised.”
She said nothing in return, but Felix knew their relationship was different from others. They would talk when they were alone, work through their issues, and after his father had told him that he changed his life when he met his mother, his head and heart knew they would be fine. He’d always thought that his father controlled his mother, but it seemed she had needed it. The routine. The structure. Kind of like BDSM. The thought made him shiver, and he wished he hadn’t put his parents and BDSM in the same thought.
They had a late dinner, and Felix said his goodbyes a little while later when he couldn’t concentrate any longer. He headed for home, though it was the last place he wanted to go. As much as he had hand-picked his roommates and liked them, he didn’t feel like spending more time explaining his disappearance, but Brett was still out with the Sutcliffes. He needed to check the house was still standing, even though it had only been a three days.
When he parked on the drive, he stared up at the house. It wasn’t extensive or huge, but it had once felt like home to him. However, at that moment, all he felt was apathy. Had his stint in the cell changed more about himself than he’d realised? Maybe he needed to speak to someone about it after all. He could ask Timothy. Prince George’s partner was a psychologist, and even if he couldn’t do it himself, he would know the best people to ask.It could even be his friend, Derek, whom Timothy himself spoke to as part of his job.
As he continued to stare up at the house he had bought as an investment, he realised he didn’t have the energy to drive somewhere else, so he climbed from the car, locked it and headed for the front door. He didn’t get the chance to unlock the door because Austin threw it open before he got there.
“What the hell, Felix?” he called, staring at him like he’d seen a ghost. “I thought you had been kidnapped?”
Felix chuckled, his apathy disappearing as soon as he saw him. “Sorry, it’s been chaotic since I got back. It never occurred to me to let you all know I was fine.” He entered the house once Austin remembered himself enough to move out of the way. “How are you?”
Austin gaped at him. “How am I? How the hell are you, more like?” He shook his head. “This is madness. Not that I’m not glad you’re fine. It’s just so strange to think you were gone and then see you walking towards the house.”
Felix gripped his shoulder. “I wouldn’t say I was fine, but I am alive, so I can’t ask for much more.” He listened, not hearing anyone else. “Everyone else gone?”
Austin nodded. “Remi is in New York for two weeks, though I’m not entirely sure why. He didn’t say. Angelica is in LA.”
“And why aren’t you out with the band?” Felix asked, heading towards the kitchen.
Austin followed him. “When I heard about you, I asked for a few weeks off. I’m not due back until the end of November.”
“You took time off work because I was missing?” Felix stared at him, stunned.
Austin frowned. “Of course I did. I thought we were friends! And my friend was gone. What do you think I am? A robot?”
Felix grimaced. “Sorry. That didn’t come out right. I just…” He shrugged. “I guess I always saw us—all of us—as acquaintances rather than friends. But I’m glad I was wrong.”