“Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up,” Owen said.
“I ne-need…” Felix breathed, trying to stop the chattering to talk properly. “I need Brett.”
“Okay.” Owen leaned to the side and dug out his phone, dialling one-handed. “Yes, but I need you to come to the showers. I’ll explain when you get here.” He ended the call. “He’s coming, Felix. He’s coming.”
Felix focused on the feeling of Owen’s hands on his arms because that was all that was keeping him from keeling over at that moment. And when the door finally flung open, smashing against the wall behind it, Felix almost burst into tears at the sight of his…boss? Lover? Friend? He didn’t know, but he knew what he needed.
“Felix!” Brett strode over to him and dropped to his knees in front of him. “What’s wrong?”
“C-Cold,” Felix muttered, closing his eyes as his cheeks heated, but he snapped them open again. He should be stronger than that. Strong enough for Brett to lean on. Not the wimpy, crying ball of uselessness that he currently was.
Brett’s arms came around him, and he dropped his head onto his chest, sighing into the warmth, even as they talked over his head.
“I think he might be in shock,” Owen said. “He was doing fine until I asked him how he was doing, and then it hit him.” He sighed. “He might be capable of some extreme stuff, Brett, but he sure as hell doesn’t want to do it.”
“Then why the hell did he insist?”
Felix heard a slap but look to find out what happened.
“Why do you think?” Owen said after a pause, his voice holding several notes of incredulity. “This is you we’re talkingabout. Your family. Your life. Do you honestly think, with everything you know about him, that he wouldn’t do whatever it took to ensure your safety?”
“But we had other ways to get that information. Heinsisted!”
“Jesus Christ, Brett. You are so dumb sometimes,” Owen said, and Felix saw him move away from the corner of his eye. “Take care of him. He wants to be clean. Lock the door behind me and take care of him. He deserves every bit of it and none of your condemnation. Got it?”
Brett moved, and Felix tightened his hold, but then Brett lifted him into his arms. Felix didn’t have the energy to wrap his arms around Brett’s neck, like he would’ve liked to. A click sounded, which Felix assumed was the lock of the door, and then Brett took him further into the room. Felix hadn’t lifted his gaze, so he was going by what the room felt like and what it sounded like.
“I need you to try to stand, Felix,” Brett murmured. “I need to get these clothes off you, and I can’t do that when you’re curled up in my arms. As much as I’d prefer you to stay there, you need a shower.”
Unable to look at him, Felix locked his knees when his feet touched the floor and held on to Brett like his life depended on it while the man undressed him. If it hadn’t been for what he’d just done, Felix would’ve totally taken advantage of the situation.
“That’s it.” Brett reached over to start the shower, but Felix stayed his hand.
“You, too,” he whispered. “Don’t want you getting drenched.”
Brett hesitated but then nodded, propping Felix against the wall while he stripped. He had seen Brett naked before, but not in such close quarters. The man was a god, and Felix couldn’t wait to have the energy to explore every inch of him.
“Here we go,” Brett said, wrapping an arm around his waist and stepping under the spray.
The warmth seeped into him, chasing away the cold, and Felix leaned his head on Brett’s shoulder as the water cleaned him—with a little help from some shower gel and a sponge Brett used. When Brett had cleaned all his back, he turned him around and started the process again on his front. Felix didn’t respond at all, even when Brett got up close and personal with his groin. Fortunately—or unfortunately, depending on where his head was at—Felix was too exhausted to get aroused.
“How are you feeling?” Brett asked once he was done.
They stayed under the water, keeping themselves warm. Felix wasn’t sure how to explain in a way Brett could understand. Felix wasn’t a wilting flower; he was strong and capable of doing horrible things if necessary, but once he thought about what he’d done, he was horrified.
“I’m dirty,” he said.
“No, you’re not. I’ve just washed you. You’re clean, I promise.”
Felix shook his head, where it rested once more on Brett’s shoulder. “I don’t mean physically. I mean psychologically. I am more than capable of doing my job, but I’ve come to realise I have a weakness when it comes to someone I care about.”
“You do a fantastic job, Felix. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t.”
“It’s different when it’s for someone I care about. Like that time with Oscar when I had to get him out of the house and protect him. I knew what I was doing, no problem. But when it came to it afterwards, I was like a newborn foal with gangly, wobbly legs, not knowing which way was up.”
“It’s almost like a delayed shock,” Brett said.
“Yes, I suppose so. I get so tired and lethargic that I can’t do much else. It doesn’t happen all the time, just with someone important to me.” He wanted to hide from his admission.