KAI: Okay, got to go. He’s EXTREMELY happy!
JASON: More than I wanted to hear, Kai. Anyway, I’m looking forward to your birthday. Maybe we need to get you laid.
FELIX: Not a chance. I’m absolutely fine as I am.
JASON: Well, of course you are, pining away after Mr Needs-to-get-his-head-out-of-his-ass. You either need to jump him or forget him.
FELIX: I know.
Birthdays were something of a sore point with Felix at that moment. In his research into Brett, he’d found out he’d missed his birthday by a matter of ten days. It was a date Brett had always refused to give when asked, and no one had questioned why. In a new light, Felix thought he understood, but it still hurt that he hadn’t been able to help Brett on a day that was supposed to be a celebration but had turned into an anniversary of his mother’s death.
Felix hadn’t been able to find out what happened to Rachel Cage other than that she died from falling down the stairs at their home, but it had been on Brett’s thirteenth birthday. From there, he’d found information about him leaving home at fourteen years old, but not much after that until he turned up at Windsor Castle as a guard.
Another fact he’d found was that Venus wasn’t just his sister—she was histwinsister.
Felix would have to delve deeper, but he hated that he’d already broken his promise to the man. The main thing he had to decide now was…did he take it to Brett and admit what he had done, or did he pretend he hadn’t done it? Neither option would end well, but the choice wasn’t really a choice. If Brett found out what Felix had done, it would be so much worse than if Felix admitted to it.
Sighing, he packed the things he needed and climbed into his car, having not seen any of his roommates for a change. Usually, one or two of them waylaid him on his way out the door. His stomach grumbled from lack of breakfast and sloshed from the glass of water he’d chugged to stop the hunger. He’d eat whenhe got there. He needed to get his admission over with before he could eat properly. And if Brett killed him… well, he wouldn’t need food then, anyway.
Brett’s car was in the car park when he pulled in, and his stomach churned some more. Taking a breath, he grabbed his bag and headed in. He headed for the kitchen, hoping that by taking a coffee in for Brett, it would help his case—he wouldn’t hold his breath.
As he strode for Sec HQ, he found hewasholding his breath, and he inhaled, shaky as it was. He faced bad guys all the time, but the idea of hurting the man he…loved was indescribable. He stared at the door for a long second and then pushed through. It was then or never.
As usual, Brett sat behind his desk, his gaze darting between the screen of his laptop and the papers on his desk, but it flicked up when Felix entered, and if he wasn’t mistaken, a slight softening happened, though it might’ve been wishful thinking. He placed the coffee in front of Brett and then leant back against another table not far from him. Brett raised his eyebrows but didn’t say anything, just sipped his coffee and waited Felix out.
Stomach tumbling, he met Brett’s gaze. “I have to give you an apology.” Brett continued to stare at him but said nothing. Felix inhaled. “I broke my promise to you, and I’m sorry.” Brett froze. “I overheard you and Venus talking yesterday, and I…researched you.” The words left a bitter taste in his mouth, and he wished he could’ve taken it all back. Not just the words, but the actions, too.
Brett’s jaw tightened and relaxed, tightened and relaxed before he rose to his feet, his chair creaking like a floorboard in a horror movie before the bad guy jumps out. “Of all the things I expected to happen, breaking a promise was not one of them.” He was surprisingly calm, but Felix could tell he wouldn’t stay that way.
“I’m sorry. I heard you discussing Maddox and a price to pay. I thought I could help.”
“By going behind my back? I explicitly told you not to research me! Explicitly! Did you think something good would come from this? Did it not cross your mind that there was a reason I asked this of you?” His hands flung sideways as his voice rose. This was what Felix had expected, and he deserved it all. “That there was a reason I wanted my private life kept away from my work? Did any of that cross your mind?” Felix didn’t reply. “Well, did it?” Brett shouted.
“No. It should have, but no, it didn’t. I thought I could help,” he repeated.
“Well, you can’t, Felix.” Brett glared at him. “Nobody can. The king knows all about this, and that is enough. There is nothing more we can do about it right now. It’s no one’s business but mine.”
Felix couldn’t deny that it hurt to hear Brett had gone to the king and not him with his family problems.
“I’m sorry about your mother.”
Brett clenched his jaw and looked down and to the side, briefly closing his eyes. “I don’t need your sympathy; I need your loyalty. You’ve broken my trust in you.”
That hurt. Inside him, a cut, deep enough to draw blood, sliced through his heart. And he couldn’t deny he deserved it all. He had no words that could apologise enough.
“I kept your secrets, Felix, now you need to keep mine.”
Brett walked away, and Felix swallowed the lump in his throat and blinked away the tears that threatened to escape. There would be no coming back from what he’d done, and he had no one to blame but himself.
He slid into a chair in front of his computer and stared at the blank screen, able only to see Brett’s expressions flitting through his mind. He thought he could help, but all he’d done was pushaway the one person he wanted to bring closer, and he couldn’t see a way to fix it.
His phone chimed and brought him out of his melancholy.
JASON: It’s that time of the week…coffee at BD!
Felix wasn’t sure if he needed more coffee—or company—but it was a standing date; just a quick chat and drink before Jason had to work. He couldn’t talk to him about the exact situation, but seeing a friendly face would help. He sent a thumbs-up back and stood. He wouldn’t stay long because he had work to do, but he could try to reduce the disappointment he felt in himself. And in Brett. He had promised Brett he wouldn’t pry, but he’d added to himself that if anyone was in danger because of what he didn’t know, he would break the promise without a second thought. Granted, he’d had several second thoughts before he’d done it, but he could excuse it away because it affected the team, and he believed Brett should tell them. Felix wouldn’t do it—it would have to come from Brett eventually—but Felix would keep it quiet for the moment.
He exited Windsor Castle, pausing for a few minutes to chat with the guards at the gate, and then continued on his way. It was a blessing and a curse that Book Drunk was only a few steps away. Coffee on tap whenever he wanted it, and therefore, coffee on tap whenever he wanted it. He looked both ways before crossing the road, and as his foot hit the path on the other side, he heard a noise that made him pause. Felix wasn’t a jumpy person, but when something that sounded like a silenced gunshot met his ears, it made him take notice.