Then, unable to stop himself, Brett turned his head slightly, just enough to catch Felix’s gaze. Those dark, knowing eyes;Felix had always been able to read him too well, just like he could read Felix, and tonight was no exception.
“About what?” Brett asked, keeping his voice steady.
Felix’s lips curved into a small, teasing smile, his eyes darting to the scene and then back to Brett. “About what you’re watching. Does it…interest you?”
There was a challenge in his tone, subtle but unmistakable. Felix was baiting him, trying to draw out a truth neither of them had dared to voice, but why? Brett felt the tension, the charged current that had been building for so long. He could admit that he had kept his mouth shut regarding how he felt about Felix, with only the occasional slip-up when he sensed Felix needed him or when Felix bulldozed him into taking a break. It wouldn’t do him any good to air those feelings.
Brett swallowed hard, turning his gaze back to the princes they were supposed to be focused on. The whip cracked again, and he felt a shiver run down his spine. His answer hovered on the tip of his tongue, and for a moment, he considered brushing it off with a joke, a deflection, something safe. But the heat in Felix’s gaze made him reckless.
“It’s…intense,” Brett admitted finally, though the word felt woefully inadequate to describe what he was feeling. “There’s a level of…control, a trust in each other that’s hard to replicate elsewhere.” He focused on Felix from the corner of his eye, not wanting to fully face him.
Felix licked his lips, and something darkened his eyes. For the first time in a while, Brett couldn’t tell what it was, but it made Felix step closer, stopping in front of him instead of doing his job.
“Felix—”
“Dominic is keeping watch.”
“Dominic isn’t here. And anyway, it doesn’t matter. We still should—”
“I told Dominic to cover because I’d had enough, and I needed to know. Ineedto know.”
“To know what?” Brett wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer. He wasn’t sure he was strong enough at that moment to hide the truth.
“Would you ever want to try something like that?” Felix asked, his voice dropping to an intimate whisper barely heard over the music. The teasing tone disappeared and sincerity laced his question, a vulnerability Brett hadn’t expected but found he wanted.
Brett’s heart skipped, the air between them growing thick with unspoken possibilities. He didn’t answer immediately, turning the question over in his mind. He had always known that there could be more between him and Felix than just their job, more than the camaraderie that came from being partners in their dangerous line of work, but he hadn’t allowed himself to fully explore what that “more” meant.
Until now.
He looked at Felix, really looked at him for the first time in a long time, and saw the desire there, not even partially concealed. It hit Brett like a punch to the gut, all the fantasies he’d kept locked away rushing to the surface. He was in love with Felix. Had wanted him for so long that it hurt now he had acknowledged it fully.
But if they crossed that line, if they admitted aloud what they both wanted…there would be no going back. Especially as Brett couldn’t give Felix what he so truly deserved.
“Maybe,” Brett said slowly, his voice rough. He met Felix’s gaze. “But I think the real question is, would you?”
Felix blinked and seemed caught off guard. He opened his mouth to respond, but Brett didn’t give him the chance.
“What do you want from me, Felix? What can you ask for that I’m able to give?” He had little left, not after starting his entire life again from the age of fourteen.
“I want whatever you can give me.”
Brett studied Felix’s expression, the butterflies in his stomach swarming until he felt sick, but not enough to back away from the conversation. A conversation they needed to have, but maybe not there when they were supposed to be working.
“I can’t let you reach so low,” Brett said. “I have barely anything to give anyone, and you deserve the world.”
“Shouldn’t that be my choice?” Felix stepped closer, and Brett breathed him in, his chest aching as he held the scent in his lungs, not wanting to release it.
“I can’t let it be. You’d destroy yourself trying to fix me.”
Felix shook his head. “You don’t need fixing, Brett.” He licked his lips. “You’re perfect for me.”
And that right there was the reason he couldn’t let them happen. He had to protect Felix, especially when he wouldn’t protect himself.
“No, Felix.” He spoke the words through the lump in his throat, wishing he could give them both what they seemed to want. But there was too much at risk. Too much that Felix didn’t know.
Felix visibly wilted and then nodded and stepped back into position. “Understood.”
Silence descended. Well, between them. The sounds of the clubs still echoed through the night, and Brett tuned them out, needing to forget what had been talked about.