And then I felt it.
The hardness pressing against me through his slacks.
My brain short-circuited for a second. Heat flooded through me so fast I had to break the kiss just to breathe.
Bennet’s eyes opened, dazed behind his glasses. His lips were red, slightly swollen. His chest heaved.
I couldn’t stop looking at him.
Then I stepped back.
“Just a sec,” I said, voice rougher than I meant it to be.
Confusion flickered across his face.
I turned and whistled. “Peanut. Come, boy.”
Peanut lifted his head from where he’d been dozing on the bed, ears perked.
“We’re studying statistics,” I told him. “Boring stuff. You don’t wanna hear that.”
I opened the door. Peanut hopped down and trotted out happily, probably hoping for treats downstairs. I closed the door again and locked it.
When I turned back, Bennet hadn’t moved.
He stood where I’d left him, hair mussed, but he wasn’t reaching for me. He wasn’t closing the distance.
He looked nervous.
“You feeling alright?” I asked.
He nodded quickly. Then he took a step, but it wassideways, widening the space between us rather than closing it.
“I should be honest,” he said. His hands twisted together, then apart. “This is sort of new to me.”
My stomach dropped a little. “Is it…your first time?” I inhaled to make him an avalanche of promises I swore to myself I would keep. I would be careful. I would be gentle. We didn’t need to go all the way.
His expression shifted immediately. Indignant and amused all at once. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “But it’s not far from it.”
I let out a breath. “Okay. That’s okay.”
He looked at me, then away, then back. “I’ve been with two guys. Before. And it was fine. It just…neither of us ever thought to do it again after. Either time.”
“Ah,” I said.
“I don’t really think the guys were the problem,” he added quietly.
I crossed the room slowly and sat on the edge of the bed, then patted the space beside me. “Come here.”
He hesitated, then came. When he sat, our knees touched in passing. The small contact sent a jolt through me anyway.
“You know,” I said, keeping my voice steady, “I really don’t think there’s such a thing as a problem. It’s more about being a right fit.”
He looked at me, listening.
“And that’s wrong, too,” I continued. “Because we’re not shoe sizes. We can adjust. We can trysomething different. We can…experiment. The trick is to tell the other person what works for you.”
Bennet’s brow furrowed slightly. “And if I don’t know?”