He nods solemnly. ‘The absolute worst. I’m not the kind of guy to take home and meet your mother. I’d do her too,’ he says, which makes me cackle, loving the fact he’s being so honest.
There’s a noise of a throat clearing above my head, and I glance up to find Sebastian looking over the cubicle. He’s surveying us coolly with a slight frown and that silly blond mullet hanging over his intense brown eyes.
Shit, how long has he been there?
‘Uh, hi,’ I say, unable to tear my eyes from his. I edge away from Ash, cheeks heating as my brain replays a steamy highlight reel from last night.
‘Sorry to interrupt your little tête-à-tête, Jade. But can I speak to you for a moment about a ... package? It’s important,’ he says.
Uh-oh, from the tone of his voice, I’m in trouble.But I wasn’t doing anything! And why should he care? Wait,doeshe care?
‘Sure, be right out,’ I say brightly.
Sebastian gives Ash a look like he wants to tear his limbs from his body ... slowly and painfully ... then disappears.
Ash chuckles. ‘Someone’s got his roller skates in a tizzy. Did you put the wrong address on a parcel?’
I sag against the door, saying nothing but feeling very uncomfortable. Ash stares at me, realisation blooming over his face. ‘No way.He’sthe one who sent you the Care Bear?’
I can’t deny it. I nod.
Ash laughs out loud. ‘Oh my god. Iknewyou had the hots for someone. But I never thought you’d go for the dipshit courier!’
23
SEBASTIAN
Insteadofappearinginmy penthouse after Kiki caught Jade and me at it, I was manhandled by two massive demons to the underworld and flung at the foot of Lucifer’s obsidian throne. I forgot how sweltering it is down here. Ten times hotter than a sauna, and my antiperspirant definitely isn’t cutting it. Sweat streams off my body as he bids me rise and face him.
Lucifer points his pitchfork at me, and the prongs glow red like his eyes. ‘Greetings, Sebastian!’ he booms, and I take a step back on my cloven hooves, wincing. I also forgot how loud he is. He’s three times my size, but we look pretty similar: bulky, hairy black body perching on goatlike legs; pointed horns; sharp claws; and a thin whiplike tail with an arrowhead end. He created me in his image after all.
I bow my head, forked tongue twitching over dry, cracked lips. ‘Greetings, my lord. To what do I owe this honour—’
‘Cut the crap!’ Lucifer thuds the end of his pitchfork smartly against the obsidian floor, and the cavern shudders.
I lift my head and eye him nervously. ‘What do you mean?’
‘You have one job: get me more souls. It’s not hard. But you seem to be struggling with the concept!’
Lucifer rolls his red eyeballs and lets out a huff of steam.
‘I have been trying, my lord—’
‘You have not!’ he roars. ‘You have taken a week’s hiatus, and now you’re going on dates!’
‘To be fair, it was only one date—’
‘Do not correct me!’
I drop my head. ‘Apologies, my lord. But—’
‘But what? Well, speak up, damn you!’
I feel like quipping that I’m already damned, but I don’t think he will appreciate my humour.
I steel myself. ‘I really like her. Jade, that is. She’s special.’
Lucifer’s jaw creaks open, revealing a row of sharp white teeth; then he snaps it shut, scowling. ‘Special?Special?’ he growls and thumps his pitchfork hard.