“Eliza,” she began, wanting to apologize for keeping her feelings a secret.
“Millie, I am so sorry,” the other woman interrupted. “I wanted to protect you from my brother, but I’m afraid all I did was get in the way. Please know I would be delighted if I were lucky enough to have you for a sister.”
Millie’s stomach dipped at the thought, but she quickly shook her head. “That’s improbable. Impossible. Thank you all the same.”
“You seemed so defeated yesterday when you came by,” Phoebe said. “I don’t know if there is anything we can do, but...”
“At the very least, we can lend you support and make sure you know that we are here for you in every way,” Rebecca Roth added as she shared a look with Phoebe. “Please know that each of us understands how you feel.”
“Are you quite certain that there’s nothing to be done?” Winifred asked. “If we cornered him and had a word, perhaps—”
“No.” Millie shook her head, too easily able to imagine how that would make Winston feel. “It’s not him.” She halted, unable to say the rest when she knew it would make her cry. She’d shed more tears in the past few days than she had in her entire life.
He didn’t want her. Didn’t love her. That was something her heart still couldn’t grasp.
Tibby heaved a beleaguered sigh. “I’m sorry, but I am very unhappy with him right now.” She looked around the table. “How can he not see how wonderful Millie is, the way we do?”
Millie huffed a breath and shook her head. She was anything but wonderful. “We all have our faults.”
“Millie Davies.” The firm but quiet tone had Millie looking at her cousin. “You are perfect just as you are. You are enough. Youare deserving of love, as we all are.” Prue said each statement with confidence and a fire in her eyes that touched Millie to her soul.
“Absolutely.”
“Agreed.”
“So true.”
Was it true? Was she enough? The situation wasn’t Winston’s fault, but what if it wasn’t hers either? If she’d done all she could to help him see the real her, then she should release the feeling of being less.
“You are worthy.” Tibby once again put her arm around her shoulder. “We adore you, and more than anything else, we want you to know that.”
Millie breathed in the words and slowly nodded. “Thank you. That means so much to me.” She touched a hand to her heart. “It helps more than you know.”
“I’m pleased.” Phoebe nodded. “You are a treasure to us all.”
Millie couldn’t help but smile, feeling her mood lighten for the first time since the musicale. “As is our friendship. Thank you. I adore you all.”
Was there anything more she could do to show Winston her true self? Had she tried too hard to be different, to be bold, only to have her attempts push him away? She didn’t know for sure, but if she had the chance to speak with him again without trying to be someone she wasn’t, she would do exactly that.
She would be regular Millie, but perhaps the best version of herself. The one who was kind, thoughtful, and liked to read. The one who was worthy of love, regardless of whether she had it.
By the time she departed a half hour later, Millie wore a smile and had a lighter step.
“Your friends helped you feel better, miss?” Alice asked with a hopeful look.
“Yes, they certainly did.” Once again, the ladies of the league had proven invaluable. Thank goodness she had such dear friends.
She drew a deep breath. No longer would she see herself as unworthy or undeserving. Doing so prevented others from believing any differently. The time had come to be the person her friends thought her to be. To expect better from herself and others, including Winston. If he didn’t return her feelings, then he didn’t deserve her.
Whether anything would come from her pursuit of him remained to be seen, but she had amazing friends to support her. For now, that was enough.
Chapter Eighteen
“Iam pleased tosee you are acting more yourself,” Millie’s mother said after they’d exited the carriage before Lord and Lady Barclay’s residence to attend yetanotherball. “You must’ve had some sort of illness.”
Millie smiled. “I feel much better now.”
“Good.” Her mother nodded. “Dunthorpe will more than likely attend, so be sure to encourage him. And you need all your wits about you to watch over your cousin. Your aunt is beside herself about Catherine’s behavior of late.” She shuddered. “The girl will find herself ruined if she’s not careful.”