That Phoebe could tell, when Millie had only just arrived, was both maddening and touching. She loved her friend for that even if she didn’t want to talk about her failed attempt to seduce Winston.
“It’s nothing, really.”
Phoebe set aside the book and rested her hands in her lap, sending Millie a worried look. “I have a confession.”
“Oh? What might that be?” Millie didn’t think she would like it.
“Tibby came by yesterday, and we discussed your secrettendre. Only because we both adore you, and Tibby is convinced you and Linford should be together,” she quickly added.
That had Millie looking away as a wave of longing came over her and a lump formed in her throat. “I’m afraid that’s not possible.”
“But—”
Millie shook her head to halt Phoebe as she knew what she would say. “I am pleased to report that I made several bold moves, but they were unsuccessful. Unlike yours and the other members of the league, it just wasn’t meant to be.”
She couldn’t forget the sight of the empty doorway at the musicale where Winston had stood. He’d told her that he wasn’tinterested in marriage, so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise. But still...
Though she’d only wanted to stay abed and nurse her heart, her mother had other plans. Thus far, there had been another garden party, followed by a ball where she had chaperoned her younger cousin.
Luckily, she hadn’t seen Winston or Dunthorpe, something for which she was grateful. She needed time to adjust to the loss of her dream of marrying Winston and to accept the likelihood that she would wed Dunthorpe instead.
She feared it was going to take months to adjust to the idea and even then, she didn’t think her heart would heal.
“Oh, Millie. I’m so sorry to hear that.” Phoebe scowled. “Men can be far too stubborn at times.”
Millie nodded but didn’t place the blame on Winston. The fault was in her. She just wasn’t...enough. Not for him. “I am pleased I tried theFor Better or Worseagenda. Otherwise, I would have always wondered.”
“Yes. And you never know, someone better might come along.”
Better than Winston? Impossible. She loved him, faults and all, and had been able to picture their future together so clearly. She couldn’t imagine feeling like this about anyone else.
Millie managed to smile but couldn’t agree with the idea. Better that she changed the subject. “Have you chosen the book for next month’s meeting? I’ve already read the one for next week’s discussion and am in need of something else to distract me. Perhaps not a romantic tale though.”
Phoebe’s sympathetic smile brought tears to Millie’s eyes, but she quickly blinked them away. Phoebe had enough on her mind with a new baby to care for and certainly didn’t need Millie pouring out her heart.
Holding hope that she might have a different future than her sisters had been ridiculous. A love match wasn’t for someonelike her. If an arranged marriage had been good enough for her sisters, then one would have to suffice for Millie as well.
Happiness was a choice, as her eldest sister had recently written to her. She had gone on to suggest that even if Millie didn’t find great joy with her husband, she would find it when she had children.
The advice had yet to bring Millie any comfort.
“I am torn between three.” Phoebe rose to retrieve a sheet of paper from her desk. “Are you familiar with any of these?” she asked, handing the list of options to Millie.
They discussed the books at length, and Millie was grateful to have something to take her mind off Winston, however briefly.
The matter decided, Millie rose. “I must be going as I have other errands to see to.” She didn’t but feared staying longer would tempt her to share more with Phoebe when it wouldn’t serve any purpose.
Phoebe stood and placed a hand on Millie’s shoulder. “Keep your mind and heart open, Millie. You never know what might happen.”
Millie hugged her but knew her future was clear. “I will see you next week at our meeting.”
That was one event she looked forward to. She need only manage one day at a time and continue to pretend that her heart wasn’t hopelessly broken.
Chapter Seventeen
“Linford.” The Marquess ofMontfort and Captain Shaw greeted Winston at the club the following afternoon.
He had forced himself to leave the house for fear the staff would stage a mutiny because of his ongoing poor mood and had been nursing a drink in a dark corner for the past half hour.