“Comes from a big family, does he?”
“I don’t know,” Ed admitted. “He lived with his auntie, and I think he must be close to his mum.” Pasha had insisted from the start that he wanted to take the prize home to her. “We, uh… we haven’t really had a chance to talk about anything apart from the competition.”
Mandy walked to the door and looked over her shoulder. “Well, maybe you should.” She turned the handle and held the door wide open. Gulls called overhead, and the laughter they’d faintly heard before was suddenly so much louder. Sunlight caught in the red of her hair, and the diamond on her finger sparkled as she reached for his hand. “Focus on the living, like I said, and no more keeping your distance from us. Don’t make me send the platoon to come and get you next time.”
Ed pressed his lips together.
“What? You think they don’t stay in touch with me and that we don’t talk about you?” When he finally looked up, she smiled at him. “They’re your biggest fans, Ed. Team TrueBrit to the last man. You’d know that if you paid attention.”
Ed followed where she led him, taking the path through the garden where he and Steve had played soldiers as kids with scuffed knees, using rifles made from driftwood. He stopped abruptly when he saw Joe perched on Pasha’s hip, his head sleepily nestled against his chest. One small hand was curled into the T-shirt Ed now realized must have been Steve’s—no waycould it ever have fitted his frame—but the baby’s grip was loose and easy, as if he trusted Pasha not to drop him. Mandy jogged forward to meet them, taking the bunch of daisies his mum offered. She smelled them as she turned round and raised her eyebrows in silent question.
Ed slowly nodded at her.
Why had it taken him so long to come to the same conclusion as her?
With a family to come home to, focusing on the living made complete sense.
14
PASHA
Pasha sat at a table tucked into the far corner of the bustling station café and watched Ed get stopped on his way to the food counter. There was no need to hide his smile. Next to him, Mandy’s smile was so fond and familiar, he guessed he must be mirroring it exactly.
She looked from Ed to Pasha. “I bet it’s killing him to be the center of attention like this.”
“You think?”
“Oh, totally. He was always happier in the background when we were at school.” Her gaze fell to the small sachets of sugar she’d sorted into neat piles. “He and Steve were complete opposites. Steve was such a showman. He was the lead singer in the school band even though Ed’s voice was so much better.”
“Yeah?”
She nodded. “Steve loved getting all the attention.” Mandy leaned over the pram next to her seat as she spoke. Her voice softened, and she smoothed back soft-looking curls from her sleeping baby’s forehead. “Ed would do anything to avoid it.”
“So how come they became such good friends?”
“Oh, that’s easy.” Mandy answered. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about it. They were more like siblings than best friends. Maybe it was because both of them were only children.” She shrugged and moved on from the sugar to sorting ketchup and brown sauce sachets. “Steve didn’t take anything seriously. He was always looking for adventure, but he made sure Ed had fun in the process.”
“And Ed?”
“They were the same age, but Ed definitely played big brother.” She cleared her throat. “He’s so good at looking after people.” Mandy’s smile became watery. “He puts the people he cares about first. He’d move mountains if he had to.”
Or risk forfeiting his place in theBritPop!contest. They’d been split up on purpose because they pissed off management, but Ed would have come to find him if Pasha hadn’t got to him first. It was still touch and go whether bending the rules as they had would make their temporary exile permanent. He looked across the café again at that thought.
Ed was trapped in the middle of a cluster of excited people, shoulders bowed as if their attention was weighty. Pasha pictured a much younger Ed shouldering huge oak beams to build a home for his mum, or going through basic training to risk war zones beside his best friend.
Management had suggested he’d left the Army under a cloud.
No way was his strength in question.
Heat smoldered in Pasha’s chest cavity. He took a sip of tea to dampen it. “So, Steve made sure Ed had fun when they were kids, and Ed acted like they were brothers. What about when they grew up? What role did Ed play for your Steve then?”
“The same as he did when they were kids bunking off lessons at school. And the same as when they were teens, sneaking underage into every pub between here and Penzance.” Shepaused for so long, Pasha wondered if he’d missed the end of her sentence. “Ed always made sure Steve got home safely.”
Platitudes flooded Pasha’s mouth, drying before he could let them spill.
Nothing could make up for what both of them had lost.
“I’m sorry.” He watched her sit up straighter, pressing her lips together when her chin trembled. “I’m so, so sorry, Mandy.”