Mom sighs. “We’ll get you some. Don’t worry.” She pops up from her seat, latches her arm around his waist, and aims toward the kitchen. With a sigh, I take her abandoned spot.
“Are you going to wear your hair down for the wedding, as I asked?” Adalyn starts with a pointed gaze at me.
“I’ll dowhateveryou tell me to,” I lie. I’m going to do whatever I want to, and she can bitch about it, but I won’t listen. “I mean…ifI decide to go.”
“Iswear to god, Ashlyn!” Both of my sisters yell at once until it’s indiscernible, and I laugh hardily.
Dad strolls by like he’s not hearing all the commotion in the room, and I sprint out to follow him.
“Hey, firecracker. What’s smoking?” he asks, tossing his corded arm over my shoulders. We enter his office, and he slyly closes the door behind us, drowning out my sisters’ annoying voices.
“Decided to hang here for the weekend,” I say as I plop onto one of the swiveling club chairs near the poker table in the back.
“You seem down.” He’s half paying attention. Mainly, he’s focused on tapping away at his phone.
“I made a friend.”
“That’s great! Hey, look at you! Getting all big at college. Your mom and I didn’t go, but you’re sharp as a whip, so it makes sense?—”
“He died,” I interrupt before he gets too enthusiastic.
“Oh. Bummer.What happened?”
“I think he was murdered. Possibly by a guy dressed as a ringmaster of a circus. Or by some type of weird bullet.” Mainly to myself, I mutter, “Not poison. No?”
Now I have his full attention. He throws his white-suited legs up on the glass-top desk. No socks. Because does he ever wear them? “Murdered? Anyone from around here?”
“No. No family ties that I know of.”
He palms the sides of his blond hair, styling it back into perfect place as he contemplates what I told him. Slowly nodding, he lays his blue-eyed gaze on me and swallows hard. After a long beat of silence, he clears his throat. “You doing okay otherwise, like, uh…beingcareful...”
My shoulders stiffen. I understand what he means, but I’m giving him an out before I get homicidal. “With murder?” He doesn’t need to find out about Mutton…
“Come on, firecracker…you know what I’m talking about. Your mom took you to get birth control and all that?—”
“Yes, Dad. I’m practically celibate now. Collect dicks on spikes and post them outside my dorm hall like Vlad the Impaler. Virgin the Repeller is what they call me. Patron Saint of Nope.” Standing, I shove off the chair and whip open the door. “Does that work for you?”
“Baby—”
“I’mnota baby!” I scream like I actuallyamone, then storm out.
Did I prove everyone’s point about howimmatureI am? Can’t be trusted with anything? Perhaps, but I’d hate to disappoint everyone and succeed.
When I reach my room, I toss my stuff onto the bed and stare at the curtains covering the patio doors. They always stay closed. But something urges me to pull them open, like peeling the scab off an old wound.
I know it’ll hurt. But I’m already drowning—may as well tie cinder blocks to my feet and sink the whole way.
Heart pounding in my ears, I rip the white sheers back and unlock the door, sliding it open and stepping out onto the small space that overlooks the backyard pools and gym.
Beyond the fence is a large myrtle tree that’s been there forever.
And beneath that are gravestones.
It’s where my soul is buried deep beneath the soot. Leaves cover the spots like a colorful blanket. Pretty dead things that rot into the ground.
I swipe away the tears and return to my room, shutting myself in again like it’ll keep the ghosts out.
The one withthe lazy eye and sweaty palm is at it again. Same hand he’s grabbed my ass with a few times.