Every swipe louder than the pounding of my heart. Every sound another nail in her pride.
“That’s my girl,” I whisper to her. “Taste your shame.”
She relinquishes a sob as she finishes and stares down at the carpet. After a deep sniff, she stands and swipes at her smudged mouth with the back of her hand.
As if nothing happened, she returns to her chair, the room a chilly atmosphere of held breaths. I stuff myself back into my pants as she squirms in her seat.
“Double or nothing,” she calls out.
“What?” I ask, confused. “Your chip stack is looking short.”
“Double or nothing.”
“You don’t have much left to give, precious. You spent all your humility on my loafer. What do you have to give me?”
My stomach flips as she drops the nasty attitude, and our eyes meet with sincerity. The gesture terrifies the shit out ofme. The way she looks at me? It’s too honest. It’s like the wall between us melts, and I can’t face what’s behind it.
I can’t look at her, or she’ll know the truth.
But she says the thing she knows that I want to hear deep down.
“Me.” Then, she blinks shyly. “For amonth.”
Quietly, reverently, I clear my throat and ask, “And ifyouwin? What do you get?”
“Your celibacy.”
Ashlyn… She thinks that would be difficult for me. Something I couldn’t lose. But she doesn’t know about my routines. Doesn’t understand how badly she’s damaged me.
“Sounds perfect to me. Are we all in?”
She nods. “Yes.”
The dealer dishes out the cards, and we both turn them over. This time, I’m stuck with a seven and a nine. While she’s dealt a pair of tens. This isn’t good.
Not because I can’t handle celibacy.
But because I want to own her so fucking bad, I can taste it.
When the flop flips a ten, I stand, placing my hands behind my head to stretch my chest. Get some more air into my lungs. But the other two are another seven and nine. Two pair for me. Three of a kind for her…
Ashlyn looks smug as hell already.
I needoneseven or nine. Come on…
On the turn, I let out a tight sigh. Aseven.
“Yes,” I whisper, and a couple of the guys nod at me. As long as a ten doesn’t come on the river…
Ashlyn shrinks in her chair, but hope still hangs in her eyes.
The dealer checks with both of us. My heart pounds harder…
Ashlyn’s knuckles turn white as she grips the table.
It’s a two.
All theThetasin the room cheer, and Ashlyn grows paler, freckles fading with every moment that passes.