I knew she’d come to NU. I knew it… But I was hoping to avoid her.
Let her think she drew blood tonight.
The real battle hasn’t even begun.
four
The weekof midterms after Red Night passes like clockwork.
Monday: 5 a.m. — 50 push-ups
No alarm because I don’t need one.
No fuel. Hunger is the breakfast.
Thirty-second stare at the wall in front of me. No blinking. No breath. All to remind myself:Focus. Control. Goals.
Fifty push-ups, chest to floor. No shaking, or I start over. Fifty sit-ups, slow and balanced. Perfect. No wasted motions. Planks on fists. Stare at the ruby carpet, eyes wide. Then, the pull-ups. Hanging leg raises. I don’t release until my fingers are numb. Burpees, counting each one to twenty-five. Next semester, it will be fifty.
No music because silence is an orchestra.
No thoughts. Only my body.
Breathe deep, then drop into my Krav Maga drills—elbows, knees, throat strikes. Flow like violence bottled.
Weekends are for waking up to sluts. Weekdays are the times I reset. No one can see me like this. It’s sacred. And Ihaveto have it.
Today is an angry day.
After the party’s events, I need recalibration before I do something irreversible.
Using my oversized plastic cup, I fill it with ice from the machine sitting on my marble bathroom counter. Turn the water on slightly above freezing. I step under the frigid stream and douse myself, then shake from the chill.
Calm.
Doctor recommended.
“Aiden is a…special child. He would do well to focus his energies on physical sports. Preferably solo activities…”the shrink said with a bit of fear behind her eyes.
My parents thought I killed a cat. When I told them that I found it dead on the street, no one believed me. Even though it was the truth. But I gave up trying to convince them.
They found me, forceps from the medicine cabinet in hand, peeling back its skin from the scalp. I wanted to see what was inside its head. Was it like me? And what did its brain feel like?
Monday: 6 a.m. — Protein and term papers
I finish one while reading the textbook for my second class. By 9 a.m., all my week’s work is done. Pristine.
Would any of my professors dare to give me less than an A? No. But that’s not the point.
I’ll be one of the CEOs of Cardell Enterprises. A product of the Seven. Second heir to the kingdom of a legacy family. That’s nothing to take lightly.
If I don’t focus…I’ll eat someone’s eyeball. Just to see how it tastes.
Fuck!Now I’m fully erect.
Don’t think about that golden hellkitten. Don’t think about her…
After dressing, I shove my things into a leather bag and head for the stairs, soaking in the lazy greetings tossed my way by a few brothers.