She looked at him then. "I cannot undo what I spent years building, so as much as yes, I admit it, I'm fascinated that a man like you is interested in someone like me, that the excitement of being in your arms and the way you made me feel, all of it, I'm going to have to pass."
"And if I don't want to accept that?" His hold tightened. "If I keep persisting?"
She tried to pull away again, making a frustrated sound when he simply tightened his hold. "I would have to say that this is a novelty for you. And you should do us both a favor and get over it."
"I tried to tell myself that too." He started to haul her towards him.
Putting her hands out, she slapped them on his chest. "Have you been listening to me?" she cried, panic clouding her voice. "I cannot be involved with you. I'm not simply going to ditch my resolves and way of thinking just to please you. I cannot."
"Then I'm just going to have to show you that you're wrong." His hand came up to cup the back of her neck. "Being with me doesn't mean that you're bad. You're still going to be the same sweet person you've become. All I want is..." His mouth crushed hers before she could turn her head away.
Clamping her lips shut did not stop him. He merely nibbled at her bottom lip until she had no choice but to give him access. As soon as she capitulated, he plunged his tongue in and deepened the kiss.
Her senses reeled drunkenly and had her arms going around his neck. The excitement of the kiss had her heart racing and her body tingling. He had managed to break down the walls she had carefully built around her. She felt them crumbling slowly, leaving her completely defenseless.
Desire stormed through her and left her feeling weak and vulnerable.
Dean was having a hard time keeping from tearing the clothes from her body. His hand drifted restlessly from her neck to her back and then her breasts. Her rigid nipples had him jolting, awareness running through his body like quicksilver. If he did not stop now... but how could he? The sensations of her lips, her scent, the taste of her were driving him insane. Forcing himself to end the kiss, he put her away and leaned his head back as he tried desperately to control the lust raging through him like a flood.
"Let me out." Her voice was small and suffocated.
Without turning his head, he released the lock and this time did not stop her as she shoved the door open and got out. He sat there even after he heard the front door slam shut and the locks engage.
He thought to himself that she had done the right thing. Only a locked door was going to keep him away from her. Pushing the start button, he wheeled the car around and drove away.
*****
The excited barks and her dog's enthusiastic greeting cut through her maze of despair.
"Hey there, buddy." Wrapping her arms around him, she closed her eyes and tried to fight the tears that threatened to spill. As if sensing her mood, Galahad started whining, tongue licking the side of her face.
"It's okay." Taking a deep breath, she released him. "Down now. I'm fine. I just need to take a breath and steady myself." Smoothing a hand down his back, she gave him a reassuring smile. "For a minute there, I forgot who I am. Come on, let's get you something to eat."
She did all the things she normally did, by rote. Her mind wasn't on her task. Feeding her dog was done automatically. The cup of steaming tea did nothing to settle the jitters that had lodged themselves inside her stomach.
And when she sat down to finish the project she had started, her mind wasn't on the task. She could not concentrate.
Finally pushing it away, she curled her feet under her and picked up the cup of the now cooling tea. She had bought the house with the intention that she and her mother would finally have a place to settle.
After the accident and the subsequent bad moments of depression and trying to find herself, she had decided that teaching was what she wanted to do. Not just teaching, but a specialized area. She wanted to mold young minds. She loved children and wanted to be part of their lives.
With that in mind, she had worked assiduously to get a scholarship. And with the determination to help her mother out and make up for the heartache she had caused, she studied her butt off.
Once she had put the painful past and the near-death experience behind her, she started focusing on her studies. The result was a four-point-zero average and several full-time scholarships. Shehad gotten herself a part-time job in a diner near campus in order to supplement her living expenses. She had no intention of burdening her mother any further.
And she had succeeded. She had lived to see the day when her mother was proud to the point of tears. She had graduated with honors, holding double degrees: one in education and the other in psychology.
She had started working right after college at a local preschool. That job had lasted for three years until she applied for the position at this prestigious institution and was accepted. The pay was excellent and the compensation package was far better than where she had been before. She had taken it for the health benefits, so she could add her mother to the package as her mother's health had started failing.
And she had bought the house for them. Telling herself that at least her mother had gotten the chance to live somewhere comfortable, somewhere she did not have to pay rent, was a source of comfort, or at least she thought it was. And she had stood her ground. When men approached her, it had been easy for her to smile politely but firmly and say no. In college she had been too busy studying and working to even contemplate a relationship.
She had been on a few dates and had men stealing a few kisses, but she had always been able to laugh and turn them away. When she left college, a teacher at the school where she hadworked had tried his best to change her mind, but after a few dates, she had lost interest. And besides, it was right about the time when her mother had fallen ill.
She looked around the tiny space wistfully. The excitement of owning her own home had carried both her and her mother to yard sales and antique stores where they had foraged and spent hours finding deals. The result was an eclectic mix: the rugs strewn across the hardwood floor in the living room were handwoven. The sofas were refinished soft brown leather with throw blankets matching the rugs. Her mother had lovingly stitched the muslin curtains and embroidered the edges.
Her bedroom was a treasure trove of mismatched furnishings. Her eyes touched on the sculpture she had yet to take out of its protective house. Putting the cup down, she uncoiled herself and walked over to the table. She should give it back. It wasn't right to take such an expensive gift from a man.
She knew what he expected in return and she could not give him what he wanted, no matter how much she was aching to. And she ached, she thought in distress. If he had pressed the point, she might have given into his demands, and it burned her that it had taken a few potent kisses from someone with obvious experience to have her dropping her guard.