"It took me a while to realize that underneath all that beauty was an empty shell. My faith in mankind, in human beings, was shattered beyond repair. I acted accordingly by falling in line. I wanted to outdo them. If they brought a new lover to the manor every week, I took three women. I was not picky. And there wasn't a shortage of females who wanted to be with me." His mouth twisted. "Is it too difficult to hear this, my love?"
"Somewhat." She drew in a breath and let it out carefully. "I hurt for you, for the little boy who had his dreams shattered."
"You must be so disgusted," he said flatly, wondering if she was. It sickened him to recall the scene he had witnessed when he was ten years old. The one in the library with his father and godmother had been bad enough, but seeing his motherwith another man had almost killed him. She had shattered his illusions of her and broken him into pieces.
"I am saddened." She knew his moods and realized where he was going.
"I could have taken another direction," he argued. "But I did what they did." His face was anguished. "I slept with married women, Catherine, so how the hell should I judge them?"
Propping her elbows on his chest, she gave him a direct look from soft eyes. "You were a child, and what you saw destroyed everything you thought you knew, everything you believed in." She stroked his tensed jaw, trying to soften the muscles. "You did what you thought was expected of you. I'm not in a position to judge you. I love you for who you are, not who you were. And I would like you to finally understand that." She held his gaze steadily. "When I see you, I see a strong, beautiful man, one I'm proud to be with, to call my husband. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
His eyes blurred and not for the first time, he felt his heart overflowing.
"Thanks." His voice was rough, his heart thudding unsteadily. "Thank you for loving me."
Her heart melted at the words and the look on his face.
"You're most welcome, darling." Determined to lighten the mood, she climbed on top of him. "Now, how about we pass the night making up for our lack over the last few days?"
His eyes darkened. "What do you have in mind?"
In response, she lifted her body and sheathed him completely, taking him in until he was embedded deep inside her. For the next two hours, they spent the time lost in each other.
********************
Dean held her hand securely in his as they waited for the doctor to come out and talk to them. They had been at the private clinic for the past three hours where Dr. Wynter and his team had done a thorough examination.
Now they were just waiting.
"You're shaking." Lifting their joined hands, he tried to inject some assurance by kissing her knuckles. They had spent the last couple of days comforting each other and talking about the possibilities. And he had promised that he would be supportive.
"Just nerves." She leaned against him and closed her eyes briefly. "Just..." She straightened up as he walked into the room and was bolstered by his expression. "Doctor Wynter! Eric!"
"Is everything all right?" she asked.
He had left them in his starkly appointed office as he finished his notes. Instead of going behind his massive desk, he pulled up a chair in front of them and sat.
"The damage is minimal. The body has an amazing way of healing itself and that's what happened." He smiled at the whoosh of relief from the couple. "We will continue to monitor the pregnancy closely, but I see no reason why you would not be able to carry the pregnancy to full term."
Her hand gripped her husband's so tight their bones were rubbing, and words failed her. It was left up to Dean to carry on the conversation and ask the questions. Dr. Wynter had prepared a detailed description of the kinds of treatments and preparations for the pregnancy.
"I will want to see you twice a month for now to assure myself and you that everything is going according to plan." He smiled at them. "But for now, you can rest easy."
********************
He allowed her the silence as they made their way back home. He knew her well enough to realize that she was overcome. The fact that she kept mostly silent during the discourse by the doctor clued him in. And she had adjusted her seat and leaned her head back, closing her eyes in the process.
"Hungry?" he asked solicitously as they entered the foyer.
"No, just some tea."
"Stomach queasy?"
"Slightly. I'm just exhausted. I'm going upstairs to lie down." She managed a smile, but he was not fooled.
He watched her ascend the stairs before turning towards the kitchen. The housekeeper had already left for the day and there was a meal in the warmer. Putting the kettle on, he added some saltines on a tray. Selecting her favorite mint medley, he waited for it to steep before taking the tray upstairs. He found her curled up on the loveseat, her head propped up on a cushion, a blanket thrown over her.
"I found some saltines." He brought the tray over and placed it on the cherry wood table in front of her. "You should eat some." He broke off in alarm when she launched herself on top of him and burst into tears. His arms closed around her as he listened to her weeping. His wife was not merely crying; she was bawling her eyes out.