"It should. Can you imagine us having a conversation with our children in the future? 'Mommy, what was it like for you growing up?' You would be able to tell them that you spent your youth being a delinquent and woke up to become a good person who cared for the sick and needy. Mine would be different. When asked that question, the only thing I could say was that I became a slut at the age of thirteen until I met your mother. I partied, did recreational drugs, used and discarded women at will." He lifted his glass, a mocking smile twisting his sensual lips. "I've contributed nothing to society whatsoever. If we have a daughter, I would be a hypocrite if I demanded that she stays away from boys."
He closed his eyes briefly as the reality of it all slammed into him. "This was a mistake. We made a mistake. I'm not cut out to be a husband, especially your husband. And one day-" He felt sick to his stomach. "When the love you have for me wears thin, you'll discover that you're disgusted by who and what I am."
"Are you finished?" she asked softly. Every word he spoke had drummed into her like nails and was making her bleed. She wanted to soothe his hurts and pain, but he was making it difficult for her to do so.
"No." He finished the drink and poured some more into the glass. "I think we should get an annulment. I know you signed a prenup, but I have money of my own and will settle a sum-"
"Don't finish that sentence." The anger came and with it the spurt of adrenaline. "If you hope to live through the night, don't you dare finish that sentence." She scrambled off the bed, and he stood there frozen as she marched forward like a general armed for battle.
Her hair, minus the pins he had pulled from it earlier, tumbled around her face and down her back. She had not bothered with a robe, and the seductive curves of her body were highlighted through the transparency of her lingerie. Her eyes were flashing and it dawned on him that he had never seen a more magnificent creature or wanted a woman so badly.
Grabbing the glass from his suddenly nerveless fingers, she slammed it down on the granite counter. "How dare you presume to know what's on my mind? I know who you are, damn you-" He staggered back in shock when she poked him hard in the chest. "I know you were a damn slut most of your life. I can make up my own mind. I'm here to stay, do you get that? This isour wedding night, and I cannot believe you're selfish enough to want to take that away from me."
"I just-"
"Shut the hell up." His eyes widened as he stared at her. "I'm not some mindless bimbo you just picked up off the street. I'm your damn wife. I'm not the number of faceless women you banged throughout your life. I deserve your respect. I deserve to have my husband in bed with me. You were the one who could not wait to get my clothes off."
"You! And I'll be damned if you're going to stand here feeling sorry for yourself and cheat me out of the night I'm entitled to. Now-" She had to take a breath to calm herself. "You're going to get in that bed and I'm going to join you. As soon as I eat a slice of that sinfully delicious cake and drink that glass of champagne, you're going to show me all the things you've learned banging those nameless women over the years." She lifted a brow at him. "Am I clear?"
His shock at her fiery disposition and the heated argument had him staring at her in bemusement, and for a moment he could not respond.
"Am I clear?"
He nodded, still unable to answer. Without a word, he turned and walked towards the bed. Sitting on the edge, he watched in silence as she did exactly what she told him she was going to do. She carefully cut a thick slice of the cake in half and stood by the table eating it. Next, she crossed the room to pick up the bottle of champagne and took several sips, eyes meeting and holding his.
"Please take off your robe."
He did as he was told, still in a numb state, and watched as she finished the bubbly and slid in next to him.
For several minutes they did not say anything, just lay there staring up at the ceiling. Then the bed shifted as she turned on her side to face him.
He had no idea what to say to her. He had vented his despair and thought it was decent of him to call it quits. He had given her a way out and she had not taken it. The sick feeling inside him had turned to hope that was spreading warmth throughout his system.
She was staying. She knew the worst of him and was still staying. He had no idea what to do with that.
He was naked, naked before her and vulnerable, his feelings raw.
When she placed a hand on his chest, his heart did a slow dive and picked up speed. His eyes told her what his lips couldn't. He felt like the inexperienced one. His emotions were making him awkward, and he had no idea what to do next.
She showed him. Bending, she brushed her lips back and forth over his, inhaling his quickening breath and the taste of him, the scent of her husband. His vulnerability humbled her completely. If possible, she was more in love with him than ever before.
He was tentative. She had mentioned in her deserved tirade that he should use his vast experiences on her, but she didn't understand that before her, it had just been sex. A meeting of bodies, a way to selfishly slake his thirst. A form of living up to who he thought he was, his legacy.
With her, it would be different. It had to be.
He lay still as she continued to torment him with butterfly kisses. When she lifted his hand and placed it over her breast, he could feel the heat of her skin through the thin material. Her nipple was already hard. Opening his mouth, he accepted the gift of her tongue, the brush of his against hers, light and sweet.
He was already as hard as steel, but he would take it slow, he vowed to himself.
He would follow her lead. He would do anything she wanted. If what she decided to do was to experiment, he would allow it. She deserved his humility and his vulnerability, and he was giving both to her. Tonight was hers and he would endure the torture of not having her just yet to make that happen.
"I want your participation," she whispered against his mouth. "I want to feel your hands on me. Touch me, darling."
Her words did the trick.
With a muffled groan, he gently pushed her back on the pillows, effectively reversing their positions.
He kissed the tip of her nose, trailing kisses over her cheeks and then her lips.