"I know that now. Jason helped me see the difference." I lean forward, needing him to understand. "My father ran away from responsibility. I ran because I was afraid of hurting you. Those aren't the same thing, even though the result felt similar."
"What did Jason say?"
The memory of our conversation this afternoon brings a bitter smile to my lips. "That Dad never would have spent three days researching how to be better for someone else. That he never would have put anyone's needs before his own." I pause. "Jason also pointed out that I've been prioritizing you above everyone else for nine years. That maybe my feelings weren't as hidden as I thought they were."
"What do you mean?"
"He said I treat you like you're already mine. That I've always been protective of you in ways that go beyond friendship." Heat rises in my cheeks. "Apparently it was obvious to everyone except me."
Micah's eyes widen slightly. "Your family knows? About your feelings?"
"Jason figured it out years ago. My mom's been dropping hints since sophomore year of college." The admission makes me want to crawl under his couch. "She keeps asking when I'm going to 'stop being stubborn and ask that sweet boy out already.'"
"Your mother said that?"
"Last Christmas. And the Christmas before that. And probably every family gathering since we graduated." I scrub a hand over my face. "I told myself she was just being matchmaker-y. But looking back..."
"She saw what you couldn't see in yourself."
"Apparently. Jason said the whole family's been waiting for me to figure it out." I meet his eyes. "Even my siblings like you better than they like me most days."
A small smile tugs at Micah's lips. "They do not."
"They absolutely do. Sarah asks about you more than she asks about me when we talk. And Danny always wants to know if you're coming to family stuff." I pause. "They're going to be thrilled when they find out about the bond. Assuming we..."
I trail off, not wanting to assume anything about our future.
We sit in silence for a moment, the weight of these admissions settling between us.
"I have conditions," Micah says finally.
Relief floods through me. Conditions mean he's considering this, considering us. "Okay."
"You don't get to run when things get difficult. You don't get to shut down or disappear or decide you need space without talking to me first."
"Agreed." The word comes without hesitation. I never want to feel the way I felt these past two days—cut off from him, drowning in guilt and separation pain.
"I need honesty. Not just about the big things, but about how you're feeling day to day. If you're struggling with this, with us, I need to know."
"I can do that." It'll be harder than the first condition, but necessary. I've been carrying too much alone for too long.
"And we go slow." His cheeks color slightly as he says it. "I know we're bonded, I know that makes things intense. But Ineed to know this can work outside of biological imperatives. I need to know you want me, not just the bond."
This one hits me like a physical blow. Not because I disagree, but because denying what every instinct screams for will be torture. But if that's what he needs...
"How slow?" I ask, my voice rougher than intended.
"Slow enough that I can tell the difference between what's real and what's just chemistry." He meets my eyes. "Can you handle that?"
I'm quiet for a moment, really considering the question. Because it's not just about handling it—it's about proving to both of us that what's between us is more than biology.
"It's going to be hard," I admit. "The bond...it makes being close to you feel like the most natural thing in the world. And being apart feels wrong in a way I've never experienced before."
"I know. I feel it too."
"But yes, I can handle it. Because you're right—we need to know this can work when it's just us, not just when the bond is pulling us together." I meet his eyes. "I want to prove to you that I want you for who you are, not because biology is telling me to."
"What if it's harder than you think?" His voice gets smaller. "What if you realize the feelings aren't as strong without the biological component?"