I walk the short hallway, fingertips brushing the walls. The floors are wood, real and imperfect. The kind that squeaks underfoot. The bathroom has a clawfoot tub, with the paint chipped on one side, but still beautiful. An extra bedroom that could be used as a playroom for Emma. I've always wanted to give her a room where we could set up a tent in one corner and a reading nook in the other.
Already, I can see our life here. Morning pancakes. School drawings on the fridge. Books stacked by the couch. For the first time in a long time, the picture in my head isn't made of fear.
But then reality catches up.
The cost of moving and boxes, and a truck I can't afford. The groceries, gas and bills waiting at home. I press my hand against the cool wall and close my eyes.
It's too good. Too much.
When I finally walk back outside, the sky's gone soft at the edges. I drive straight to Candy and North's ranch.
Candy meets me on the porch with two glasses of lemonade. She knows before I even say it.
"Well," she says, handing me a glass. "That face says something happened."
"I got fired," I say, because there's no reason to dress it up. "For 'lack of results.' Whatever that means."
Candy doesn't flinch. She just nods, already suspecting it. "You okay?"
I let out a laugh that sounds a little broken. "I don't know. I should be crying or screaming or both, but all I feel is... light. And terrified."
"That sounds about right."
"I haven't told Asher yet."
"You will when you're ready," she says simply.
Nodding, I stare down at my hands. "I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't just sit at home and hope the bills pay themselves."
Candy tips her head. "Did you look at the cabin?"
"I did. Candy, it's beautiful. It's more than I've ever had. Emma would have her own room and still have space for a desk and shelves. I could cook without bumping my hip into the counter every five seconds. But—"
She waits.
"I can't afford movers. I can barely afford gas some weeks. And I won't ask Asher. He'd offer, and I can't let him think I'm using him to fix my life."
Candy's smile turns knowing. "You think too much of that man's pride and not enough of your own grace. But fine. You don't have to ask him. You've got a small army already lined up."
"What?"
"North has got his truck and a trailer. Dash and Sky have one too. They'll help. Josh and Jenna will come if I mention you need an extra pair of hands. Maybe even Ben if we bait him with pie. The diner always has boxes they will save to pack with, and I have some sitting in the back room of the library. I bet a run at the dumpster at the back of the downtown shops will get us everything we need."
I blink. "Candy—"
"Don't 'Candy' me. We'll make a day of it. You don't need to lift anything heavier than your coffee cup."
Emotion builds in my throat before I can stop it. "I can't let you do that."
"You can, and you will. You think we'd let you and Emma haul your lives alone?"
Pressing the heel of my hand2 to my eyes, I try not to cry. "You're too good to me."
She shrugs. "That's just what happens when you love people."
Her words hit me harder than she probably meant them to. I sink into the porch chair, staring out at the field where Emma was helping North feed the horses the other day.
"I don't want to tell her I lost my job," I admit quietly. "She worries more than she should. She's just a kid, but she's always watching me for cracks."